


Born Omega

by Writelikethat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Dean Winchester, Alpha John Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, College, Good Parents John Winchester & Mary Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, Light Angst, M/M, Omega Mary Winchester, Omega Sam Winchester, Pack Dynamics, Pack Feels, Sam Winchester is Not a Winchester, Scent Bond, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2019-11-05 16:20:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 42,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17922200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writelikethat/pseuds/Writelikethat
Summary: In a world with Alphas, Omegas and Betas, people live their lives connected to a pack. But every once in a while, an omega will be born to human parents and when the time comes the Omega will be in search of a pack. Everyone wants to take in the Born omega with a pure line to their roots, and this time is no different.Sam has grown up, unaware of what his status means to those around him. Dean is a grown up Alpha with a good life, but with a limited future because of his unmated status. The new omega is stirring with Dean's set view of his life.





	1. New to the pack

Dean backed into the hallway just as his phone chimed. With a frown he watched the caller ID and picked up, hugging the phone between his shoulder and his ear. 

“Two minutes.” He growled. 

“To the point then. We’ve got a situation on our hands. Including a Born Omega.”

Dean dropped a book and bumped his head into the door when he rushed to pick it up. 

“Man, you can’t just drop something like that on any unsuspecting guy.” Dean hissed. He stopped outside his office and he ignored the looks from his fellow academics. 

“Well, you said two minutes.”

“You could have warned me anyway!”

“Alright. But I need you to get here as soon as possible. Jo and Ellen is running around, and so is Kevin. Any alpha is told to stay away.”

“Then why are you calling me?” Dean rolled his eyes. Sometimes his father relied too much on him. 

“Because we want you to help us deal with this. Come over to our place. Bobby is here too.”

“I’ll be there as soon as my lecture is done. My students are due a test next week, and I need to prepare them or the test is no use.” 

“Dean. You - . He’s an omega. Someone born outside any pack. We have to get together and make sure he wants to stay.” A male omega, Dean felt his insides do a little flip, but he forced it to calm down.

“I know that. But being up in his face with posturing and too many people at once, is not going to get him to stay.” Dean checked his watch. 

“This has been five minutes. I’m late. Talk to you later.” He hung up to his father’s protests and hurried down the hall. 

His mind was elsewhere. Distracted. Like his father said, they trusted him, but sometimes, Dean had no idea why. He was getting old. A thirty-two year old unmated alpha. If he’d been mated, he would have been in the run for next leader, as it were, nobody expected him to find his mate anymore. Dean would be lying if he said he didn’t care. Of course he did. But he’d simply learned to deal with it. 

He had a good life. Full of amazing people, a nice pack and a great job. He didn’t need a mate. Dean liked his life very much as it were. 

Dean did his job, lectured on their newest topic in ancient history, he took questions, and he was there for his students. But his mind was already at home with their pack leader, his father and a few other trusted people, trying to figure this out. 

 

About twenty years ago was the last time their pack had been visited by a Born Omega. She had mated one of their alphas, but both of them decided to move on. Bobby still had contact with them, but it wasn’t the same as having them in their pack, as one of theirs. 

A Born Omega was special. They came from human parents, but still had a direct line to another Born Omega. It made them pure. And it made them someone the pack valued highly. 

Dean barely had the time to pack his things before he rushed to his parents’ home. Mary had left of course, probably joined the party over at Ellen’s home. 

“There you are, son.” Bobby nodded and handed him a coffee. 

“What’s going on?”

They told him the short version of how some of their young college students in the pack had gotten wind of an omega sniffing around. A couple of alphas had been flattered, but Gabriel stepped in as a beta, suggesting they meet somewhere away from the alphas if he liked. Apparently he did, and after just a few moments Gabriel realized that he needed some help, and asked if he wanted to meet someone from his pack. It had taken a few days, but he had come back, and eventually agreed to come with him. 

“He’s most likely nearing his heat, since he suddenly started to sniff around. He’s been to college for three years already.”

“Which one?”

“Sterilng college.”

Dean shook his head. 

“How could he have been there for three years, without anyone noticing? Without ME noticing. I work there.”

John shook his head. “Suppressants, probably.” 

Dean nodded, but he still wasn’t convinced. His senses could pick up an omega, even if they were on suppressants.

“So how do we work from here?”

“We need to gather our pack, introduce ourselves to him, then we should have a party.”

Dean closed his eyes and wanted to shake his head. 

“I say we have a chat with the omegas who has met him, they have probably gotten a feeling for what he’s like. He might not even want a party, or maybe he’s just confused and never intended to stay at all.” 

“Then we make him stay!” John said. 

“Dad, we can’t force him to stay. That’s against the law.” Dean pushed a hand through his hair. 

“I didn’t suggest we force him. I mean, we make him want to stay.”

Dean knew it could work. If the omega felt lonely, or was looking for a mate, which wasn’t unlikely at the age of twenty- or twenty one. 

“Let’s talk to the other omegas, and then we let them and a few of the betas in the committee arrange a party that would benefit the Born Omega.”

***

Sam. 

Sam looked around the charming living room he was currently sat in. Around him was more omegas than he imagined he would meet his entire life. 

His parents knew what he was from a young age, and when they finally told him, they made it sound like something so rare, he practically had to prepare for a life on his own. 

So when he started to realize after almost a year in college that, no, he wasn’t alone out here, he’d been a little scared and also angry. So he kept to himself. 

Until suddenly he couldn’t get hold of suppressants anymore. And then he went through a heat for the first time since he was thirteen and it was pure hell. So when he knew his next one was approaching, he started to hang out around the people that he understood could be part of a pack nearby. 

A few weeks later, there he was, sitting in a living room with omegas running in and out and all of them seeming stressed out. Sam had no way of knowing what it was about. 

There was Jo, who was in fact an omega, but acted more like a beta or even an alpha. Then there was her mother who was a beta. Kevin had come by with his books, studying almost all the time, but also proving to be quite helpful with his very clear and concise explanations of the situation. 

Sam knew there were more people in the kitchen, but he didn’t dare ask in case they would kick him out before he got a chance to ask them about suppressant. Late in the day, a warm and loving woman had showed up. Pure omega and she had sat down to have coffee with him. When he gathered his courage to ask about suppressants, she tilted her head in confusion. 

“Why do you want suppressants, honey?”

“Because my heat is coming up.” He blushed, but nobody seemed to notice. 

“Oh. Well, we can help you through that.”

“But I’m in school. I lose days when my heat comes on and…” 

Kevin glanced up. 

“The lecturers don’t mind.” Kevin said. 

Sam bit his lip and wringed his hands in his lap. 

“But…” He swallowed. 

“Sweetie, listen. If you need suppressants we will arrange it. But we are almost all omegas here and none of us use them. And it’s because they aren’t meant for us to be using regularly. It alter our biology, and we could end up infertile or even sick.”

Sam stared from one to the other. His parents had always stressed the importance of suppressants. 

“Do you have family close by? An alpha or a pack?” Mary asked. 

“No. No alpha or pack. And My family doesn’t live here. They are not like me though, they are normal.” He said quietly. 

The silence that fell in the room was deafening and when Sam dared to look up everyone was staring wide eyed at him, and a few even hurried out of there. 

“You’re a… a… Born Omega?” Kevin whispered. 

“A what?” Sam narrowed his brows. 

Mary explained to him what it was, and his anger toward his parents grew. How could they not have told him? They had to have known. Because you knew things like that. Instead he sat there in a room full of excited people who told him he was special, and that he shouldn’t be on suppressants. 

“May I have a moment to myself?” Sam whispered. 

Jo led him upstairs telling him to just lie down if he needed to. They would get there with some food, and if he needed someone to talk to, he could just yell, or even call her. 

Sam smiled weakly and slumped down on the bed once the door closed. 

He felt strange, new, and confused. A part of him felt calm in a way it never had been. Because he finally knew he wasn’t alone and that things would work out. But not all of him. A part of him also screamed loudly for having lived in the dark for so long. 

Sam curled up on the bed and stared at the opposite wall. Time ticked away, and he tried hard not to think about a single thing. He felt a tear run down his nose, but none followed so he breathed easier. Someone came up the stairs, knocking on the door to let him know they had put food outside his door. Then they left.

He listened to the sounds downstairs. Excited and happy, they chatted away and Sam didn’t feel like he was bothering them. They were genuinely accepting of him, even if he occupied a bed and didn’t do much. 

Eventually he fell asleep and the next day he came downstairs to a table set with all kinds of breakfast choices. Jo pointed at her mother behind her back and mimed something about ‘crazy person’. And Sam felt himself smile for the first time in a while. 

“This looks lovely.” 

“Eat all you like.” Ellen said and told Jo to get her breakfast too. 

“You’ve got school, young woman.”

“What are you studying?” Sam asked, and he noticed Ellen’s eye roll, but Jo just laughed. 

“I’m on my way to become a mechanic. My mother does not approve.” 

“It’s not that, Jo. But what are you going to do if you find a mate and have his babies?”

“Oh, I’ve still got a few years before that happens. Besides, I can’t sit here waiting for that. I want to do something.”

It was clearly a discussion they’d been having before and Sam was content just listening to it. Saturday morning was a calm, but also crowded. A lot of people came by to get a peek of him and Sam didn’t know what to do about it. He withdrew to the living room as soon as his breakfast was done. He could hear Ellen talk loudly and hissing at them to keep a distance, because the poor boy doesn’t need nosy people at the moment. 

Sam wasn’t sure what it was about, he didn’t know why they were all stepping around on their toes. Jo had explained that a Born Omega was a huge thing for them, because they didn’t come around all that often. Sam wasn’t sure he liked the sound of that, because it usually meant attention, too much of it. 

And he was right. People came by all through the day, and he noticed how none of them were alphas. 

“Is this a pack only with omegas and betas?” Sam asked Jo later on. She looked a little surprised for a moment, but then she laughed. 

“No, of course not. They have been… uh, keeping their distance.”

“Why?” Sam watched her bite the inside of her cheek. 

“Um, well… In case you didn’t want them to yet, and that it could uh- get too much.” 

“Too much? I’ve been going to school with all kinds for years.” Sam said a little annoyed. 

“I – we know. But, Sam. What did you notice when you first came into this house?”

He thought about it. He knew he’d crossed paths with other like him before, but he’d only just gotten a whiff of their scent and it never really did anything to him. But the second he came into this house, he was surrounded by the welcoming scent of omega, and even if Ellen was a beta, and didn’t have that strong an aura, it was still there. It was a part of the house. 

“Your scents.” He muttered. 

“Exactly. Now, imagine that a row of alphas pushed into this house. It would take over pretty fast. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. We only want to make sure you feel safe.”

Sam nodded. He still didn’t know what kind of effect an alpha could have on him hours later, but he was about to find out. 

 

Sam had been catching up with most of the omegas through the day. It was getting closer to the evening and Sam had taken a shower, because he’d started to feel itchy. Jo came to meet him as he came out of the bathroom, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks a little rosy. 

“Dean’s coming over. He’s an alpha. Thought I should warn you.” She announced. 

Sam nodded a little numb. After talking with the other omegas about heat, and about alphas, he was in fact a little anxious to face the real deal. According to them he would probably not feel much of anything, but the way they acted talking about it, wasn’t convincing. And the way Jo looked so excited at the prospect of a single alpha coming over made it even worse. 

“Okay. Um, what… What should I do?”

“What do you mean?”

“Should I stay in the bedroom or...?” 

“Of course not. You need to meet him. Dean is great. And he’s not someone to worry about.”

Sam narrowed his brows and stared at her. She blushed, and Sam nodded in understanding. 

“Oh, I see. He’s taken. Sorry.” 

“No, no. Oh god no, that’s not it.” She blushed deeper and avoided his eyes. 

“Just… he’s older than us, and he’s really not an imposing alpha.”

Sam nodded again, not feeling much better but he didn't dare ask again so instead he followed her downstairs. Kevin was in the living room with his books, so Sam decided to just hang back with a book from his reading list. 

 

The kitchen was loud and happy, but Sam had come to realize it was how things were. The omegas here was a close knit bunch and it felt nice. It made the place feel all the more safe and connecting. 

Sam knew the exact moment the alpha stepped into the house. He’d heard the car of course, but it was more than that. His presence was tangible in a very pleasant way. The people in the kitchen laughed and joked with the man, and Sam could hear his voice, calm and steady as he talked to them about everyday stuff. 

“Bobby is dead set on a gathering as soon as possible. He suggested Sunday, but we managed to talk him out of it.” 

Someone huffed. 

“Yeah, he always was impatient that one.” Ellen said. 

Sam hadn’t been able to read a word since the alpha stepped into the house. Slowly but surely a scent found its way into the living room, and it was nice. 

Sam couldn’t place it entirely. The scent was just there. Surrounding him with a feeling of being centered for the first time in years. If all alphas walked around with that kind of power, Sam had no idea how he was where he was today. Because he would have succumbed to that a long time ago. 

He felt compelled to get out there, to see him, but he wasn’t sure he was allowed, or if he should. Sam glance at Kevin, who watched him curiously. 

“You’ve never actually met an alpha before?” He asked. 

“I have, I just don’t think I’ve been aware of it.” Sam said. 

“Well, go on then.” Kevin urged. 

Sam stared at him. 

“Into the kitchen?”

“Yeah, why not?”

Why not, indeed.

Sam got up from his chair, and headed toward the kitchen. He stopped and turned to look at Kevin, who was watching him with an unimpressed glare. 

“I just… Do you feel like this every time an alpha comes around?”

“Like what?” 

“Excited, a little nervous, but mostly in a good way?” Sam didn’t make much sense to himself. 

“Sure. I mean… he’s an alpha, of course you would sense it. But it’s varying how much or how good your reaction is, depending on the connection I guess. Alphas react to omegas too, you know.” Kevin informed him. 

Sam opened the door and pushed inside unnoticed. The scent in there was even stronger, and he was drawn to it, inexplicably. 

As he watched the scene before him he realized this Dean had to be a regular guest at this house. He was digging around in a cupboard, while Ellen placed food into a paper bag. 

“You need to eat more vegetables, Dean.”

“Yes, mother.” He mocked her and from where Sam stood he could see half his face lifting up in a grin. Ellen smacked his shoulder. 

“Watch it. Now, don’t forget to put these in the freezer, and thank you for coming by.” She said. 

Just then, the alpha turned around and his eyes immediately landed on Sam. It was a strange feeling, how he both wanted to lower his eyes, but at the same time warmed and raised at the attention. The alpha looked caught for a second, then he snapped out of it and gave a smile. 

“Sorry, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Dean.” 

“Sam. Uh, I’m Sam.” He said and smiled timidly. 

“Nice to meet you. How are you settling in?”

“Thank you. I am doing fine, it’s very nice here.” Sam said. 

“Good. That’s good. Anyway, I have to get going, hope to see you around.” He smiled wide before leaning down to give Ellen a peck on her cheek, then he was gone out the door.

Sam turned around as on autopilot and walked back into the living room. Numb from head to toe he sat down, pretending to read his book.


	2. Family matters

Dean was a little shaky after suddenly being faced with the new omega. He had sensed him the moment he opened the door of course. There was a new scent there, but it fit somehow. Almost like this scent mingled so well already and made all of the others come together in a perfect harmony.

And when Dean suddenly became aware of his presence in the kitchen he had turned around to see this creature standing tall, nothing like he had expected. Strong and also so careful with how he held himself.

Dean wasn’t sure whether it was because of Sam being a Born Omega, or if it was something else, but Dean had reacted stronger than he was used to. And Dean needed to get out of there before any of them decided they needed to shake hands, because Dean might be one of the decent guys, be he was only an alpha.

Everything in their pack was about the new omega these days. All they wanted to talk about was Sam, and whatever they did, they thought about how they were going to include him in the pack as smooth and inviting as possible. 

Apparently Sam had gone into heat the day after Dean came with the supplies Mary had sent with him. The other omegas in the house had predicted as much, so nothing had to happen immediately. The event, or party as it was in reality couldn’t happen until well after Sam was back on his feet. 

Dean was glad it gave him some extra time to prepare, because he had to figure out why he’d left the house feeling lightheaded. 

He went to class and lectured as he did any other day. He gave his students tests, he talked to them and had his usual office hours and meeting with the rest of his team. Dean had a busy life, and right now, he was relieved he did. 

Sam was nothing like Dean had imagined. When he heard of the Born Omega, he expected someone more like Kevin. Small and sweet, and obviously omega. Being from a direct line of Born Omega’s he had to be, right? Instead Dean had been faced with a tall guy, almost as tall as himself, lanky limbs and unruly hair. His eyes had been bright and curious, and he had a little smile, expressing so much more than just a smile. 

That had to be it. Dean’s distraction, it was just because he hadn’t been prepared for what he’d be like. Besides, if the omega was close to his heat, everything about him would be heightened. 

Dean lowered his shoulders once he realized why he reacted differently. He could go back to living his life like he had before. 

He helped his father and Bobby prepare a barbeque, then he talked to the alphas around Sam’s age. Urging them to hang back, but still be around if Sam wanted to get to know them. 

“Just be normal around him, no posturing and no coming on to him with bad lines.” Dean rolled his eyes, knowing that both of these things would happen no matter what he said. 

“Be a gentleman or woman toward him, don’t act like you know him, because you don’t. We want him to feel welcome.”

“He is an omega, though.” One of them said with a sleazy grin. Dean glared. 

“And so is a lot of others in this pack. Don’t make me put you at home for this one.” Dean sighed and none of the others commented on it again. 

Dean was somewhat of a veteran in the group. He was an unmated alpha, and he was also someone who had proved time and time again to be reliable and trustworthy. He would do the right thing and he was a great leader. John had told him that he had hoped he would have mated years ago. 

“If you had, son, then you would be well on your way to becoming our next leader.”

“Maybe that’s not my path.” Dean told him and that was that. 

So instead Dean was a big part of how the pack was running, without actually being the leader or officially on the board. His name carried some weight by being the son of John Winchester, but he’d also built his own reputation to make sure he deserved it. 

Dean did his best to make sure their young alphas would behave around the newcomer. There was no doubt that they would appreciate him. Sam was good looking, and according to Jo he was a smart one too, studying languages, and writing, with good grades. 

What Dean was concerned about, was whether their alphas would be interesting enough for Sam. None of them knew Sam, and all of them wanted what was best for him, it was in their genes to protect. But for someone like Sam, he suspected that the alpha status wouldn’t be enough to catch his interest. 

Any omega deserved the best of an alpha, a Born Omega was in Dean’s eyes even more precious. 

Bobby expected the alphas in his pack, to be raised into alphas who respected and treated omegas right, so Dean was sure it would be fine. It didn’t mean someone might try something, still. 

He knew everyone and especially their leader wanted the omega to stay. It bode well for their future, getting in new blood, having a reputation of a pack who attracted someone from the outside, and most importantly, it meant that they did something right, if a Born Omega found it suitable for him to stay. 

 

The barbeque was a big deal. It was a great opportunity to introduce the pack to Sam, but it was also a chance for the pack to come together and have a nice time together. From time to time, they would meet up, eat food and just spend time together, doing what they did. It included everyone, from the youngest children to the oldest men and women.

When the pack met for a barbeque they ventured to one of the properties where they had the largest gardens. It was a summer house, and reminded them more of a large mansion than anything else. Even if they weren’t an enormous pack, it still held enough people to make it crowded almost everywhere. 

Preparations were made, tables raised along the sides with chairs scattered around. A buffet would be placed in the midst of it all, and it would eventually be loaded with food of any kind. 

That was how they worked things. Dean even made a pie of his own to bring there. Each household contributed in their own way, so that in the end it didn’t take much of anyone. Bobby ordered people around, and John barked louder than he usually did. 

Dean himself felt tense and nervous, but he made an effort to go about his days as he always had. Because the excitement in his pack was disturbing. He didn’t want to be a part of that. It was great if they got a new addition to the pack in the shape of a true Born Omega. Dean still didn’t want to pose as a dog with a bone. 

And it made him a little uneasy that he thought about it. An omega rarely put Dean out of his play. He knew how to act around them, and he prided himself on not being too affected. It didn’t sit well with him that alphas practically drooled all over the omegas, because Dean had never met an omega who made him feel like he could do that. And he told himself he could show more restraint than that.

 

As the week came to an end, Ellen gave the clear that Sam was getting out of his heat, and he was ready to meet the pack. According to her, he didn’t sound like he’d decided whether he wanted to stay or not, but he still liked to meet them. 

Bobby was a gruff and to the point kind of man. He didn’t plan on putting Sam in front of everybody. He wanted to make it simple, gather everyone, and then introduce himself to the new omega, whenever it was right. 

Dean always liked that approach. Bobby was strong and demanded his pack was loyal and true, but most of the time he let them live their own lives, without his involvement. 

It didn’t matter that Bobby had a sour face and a ruffled look, he still was one of the kindest people Dean knew. 

These barbeques made an otherwise busy week feel worth it. Everybody made arrangements to be there and Dean looked forward to meeting his friends. 

He had been there early to help out with the food, so he had a beer ready and sat on the steps when people started to arrive. They greeted him, some would hug him, and others waved or exchanged a few words before gravitating toward the food tables. Dean enjoyed sitting there taking it all in. Children ran around playing with each other, happy to meet their friends and family. The whole night was about family and to keep close to those who mattered to them. 

Being a pack wasn’t always easy when they had to live their lives close to other families, and be accountable to them in many ways. Dean sometimes wondered if everything was easier before when they had the ability to change into a different form. That was ages ago, but it felt like that might have made them feel closer to each other. 

At least they had this. Even if it didn’t always feel simple, they still had someone. A connection about them that he rarely got with anyone else. 

 

Dean knew the moment Sam arrived. He walked in there with Jo and Kevin, and they traded carefully. Sam looked around curiously. And the pack watched him with unconcealed interest. That was to be expected and Dean sat quietly, waiting to see how things would go. 

Sam had dressed nicely in a pair of black jeans and t-shirt, with a deep burgundy shirt on top, sleeves rolled up. It was hard for anyone to pull their eyes away from that very well defined body. His arms looked so strong and those legs so long where he stood taller than almost everyone around him. Dean made a show of glancing around at the younger alphas, so that he wasn't caught staring at the omega as much as anyone.

Bobby slowly made his way over and even if Dean couldn’t hear what they said, it was clear Sam relaxed as Bobby spoke. But after the leader had spoken to Sam, everyone felt they had the right to approach him. Most just shook his hand and welcomed him. Others wanted to stay and chat, and it was clear to Dean that the alphas around Sam’s age was the most interested as they kept buzzing around him. 

That too was to be expected and Dean didn’t feel like he should step in because of that. Sam should be capable of fending off public advances if they happened. After a while Dean picked up a plate and walked around the buffet to fill it up. He then walked back to the steps and was soon joined by Benny and a few other familiar faces. 

It felt like any other barbeque with the pack, except that Dean let his eyes sweep around the garden, seeking out that one person, just to make sure. He made it look casual, and he didn’t get up from his spot for a long time. 

Sam was good at working the room, or garden in this case. He was careful and seemingly shy, but he wasn’t afraid of talking to people. Sometimes he sat down to chat with the kids hiding behind their parents’ leg and he took time to keep a conversation with the people around him. 

As the night progressed Dean had watched Sam go around, talking to almost everyone. He asked questions, talked in a quiet, but clear tone and he laughed easily, showing off dimples when he did. Dean felt with a slight trepidition how his stomach twisted pleasantly.

Eventually Sam came over to where Dean stood nursing a beer. 

“Hello.” He said tentatively. 

Dean smiled. 

“Heya. How are you holding up?”

Sam looked down and shrugged his shoulders. 

“As well as could be expected. There are a lot of people here.” He added and glanced around. 

“They mean well, but it’s exhausting meeting them all at once, I bet.” Dean said with a grin. 

He knew his pack. They were good people, but it was a lot to take in all at once and Sam was doing a great job. 

Just as he was about to ask Sam about something mundane like the weather or school, a little girl ran straight into him. 

“Oh, hello Kate. Watch where you’re going!” Dean picked her up above his head and twirled her around, making Kate laugh excitedly. 

The girl screamed at him to do it again and again, until Dean put her down, insisting he would get nauseous if he had to make one more turn. 

She just laughed and gave him a hug before dancing away. Dean looked up and met Sam’s eyes before he hurriedly looked away. As if he was afraid to get called out for watching them. 

“I adore these little devils, but sometimes it gets so loud during these parties, I’m just glad they aren’t my problem once its bedtime.” Dean murmured, and Sam actually laughed at that. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to – “

“No, no it’s fine. I’m the one who should apologize for making a comment like that.” Dean shook his head. He pointed at the buffet. 

“You’ve gotten enough to eat?”

“Yes, Jo showed me around, and told me what I should try. It’s so much food.”

“You don’t say. Every time there are so much left overs, it could have fed a large portion of the students on campus.” Dean told him.

Sam smiled at that. 

They talked for a while, but when Sam was distracted with someone wanting to talk and get to know him, Dean walked over to his father. 

As the evening turned into night the clean-up began. The food was collected and dealt between the remaining members. Some would bring home food for their grandparents, and others collected extra for college students. Dean watched while Ellen tried to push a fifth plastic carton on Sam and was met with a slightly distressed look from the omega. Dean pursed his lips and unsuccessfully tried to hide a grin. 

While the tables and chairs was lifted into a truck to be brought elsewhere the conversation flowed easily. Bobby and a few of the older members stood to the side, smoking cigars or sipping from glasses with amber content. Music played in the background and a few were still dancing. Mostly teenagers it seemed. Parents fought a lost fight to get them home at a suitable time, but not really trying too hard, because this was where they belonged. 

Dean always loved this part of the festivities in his pack. He’d always made an effort to participate, because this was where he really got to know people. This was when everyone’s guards went down and this was the time when he could look back on a successful night and be reminded of where he was home.


	3. New to life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, In case you wondered, I do have a schedule, with a goal to post a new chapter every monday.

Sam wasn’t sure what he had expected of being around the pack, or being a part of a pack actually. He had no reference other than comments here and there about religious sects, which this was definitely not. Walking into that garden, it felt like a really big group of people, who actually remained friends. 

There was a safe and nice feeling about it, and he wanted to be part of it even more. They were all so familiar and comfortable around each other it was surprising.

Jo had told him what he could expect. Sam dreaded the beginning where everyone had to stare and he thought there would be an announcement. Instead a normal looking guy with a cap and boots came over to him, introducing himself as the leader of the pack. For a second Sam was tempted to bow or something equally stupid. But Bobby wasn’t like that. He looked rugged and unimpressed, but as the night went on Sam realized that the man had a sharp eye for what went on in his pack, and he genuinely loved them all. 

The first thing Sam did when he arrived, was to try and sense if the reaction he’d gotten when he met Dean was something he’d feel with every alpha, or if it was something that happened because he was close to his heat. 

When nothing major happened as the first young, potent alphas introduced themselves, Sam wasn’t sure what to make of it. He sought out Dean, his scent already familiar, and found him sitting on the steps leading to a gazebo. It didn’t look like he was paying attention to Sam’s arrival, and it annoyed him. But Sam could wait. Before the end of the night he would seek out Dean and make up his mind about what had happened. 

It wasn’t easy. Sam thought that he would know the second he was in close proximity to Dean again. Only, nothing happened. There was a flutter in his stomach as he watched Dean grin and laugh, but once they were close, he didn’t feel the same when he got a whiff of that scent. It was there, clear and nice, but it didn’t affect him in the same way. 

The heat it was, then. 

Sam wasn’t sure why that disappointed him. What he did realize, though, was that none of the alphas in the pack, could measure up to Dean. He had no idea why he wasn’t mated already, but there was something about him, pulling him in. And if Sam wanted only one solid reason to stay in this pack, then Dean was it. 

As it turned out, he didn’t have to have only one reason. The omegas alone would also make a very plausible argument. Sam felt at home and included, he felt welcomed and most of all he was intrigued. 

Getting back to Ellen’s house, Sam was in the backseat with Jo, Kevin, Donna and Claire. It was hot, and all of them was in good spirit. 

Ellen insisted that he stay there for the night, then he could return to his dorm if he wished. 

“We do have the space here, but it’s your call.” 

It was late, and the next day was a school day. But instead of going to bed the group gathered in the kitchen, drinking tea and chatting about the night. Sam listened while they added up new couples, talked about children growing up, and of little changes in their midst. He was getting a bit drowsy, but it was comfortable in the warm kitchen, and he enjoyed the company. 

“What do you think, Sam?”

He was not prepared to be interrogated and told them as much. They laughed, but still waited for his answer. 

“I enjoyed myself, quite a bit. You’ve got a very nice pack.” He complimented. 

“We’re glad to hear that.”

“So, are you going to stay?”

“KEVIN!” Ellen swatted a hand across his head. He barely looked fazed at all. 

“It’s what we all want to know. Sorry to tell you.” He murmured and Sam shook his head but couldn’t help but laugh. 

He looked around at the hopeful faces watching him. They tried to seem like it was nothing, but all of them was waiting. 

“What would I have to do if I decided to stay?” Sam asked. 

“Bobby will have to make it official. Some paper work, normally.” Ellen said, taking a sip of her tea. 

“Oh, alright.”

“Did you think there was a rite of passage or something?” Jo giggled. 

Sam pursed his lips and blushed. “I don’t know.” He said quietly. 

“None of that. We’re a simple pack. I assure you we’d all make an effort to make you feel welcome. Especially the alphas.” Donna waggled her eyebrows, while Ellen closed her eyes in defeat. 

Sam chuckled, he started to get how they worked in this group. And he liked it.

 

After the weekend Sam headed back to his dorm room on campus. He felt different, more at ease with himself, and suddenly he was surrounded by a bunch of people from the pack. He still had his other friends, but these new friends had a different understanding of him. Sam felt like, when he was a part of the pack, he had signed up for friends too, and he liked it. 

Sam had made a decision, and talked to Mr. Singer, or Bobby as he insisted on being called. The man hadn’t made a show of it. He’d simply pulled out a form, and asked Sam a few questions about his upbringing and whereabouts. He wanted to see his driver’s license, and then told him to be in touch if he needed anything. 

It was a little confusing and almost a little disappointing. Because Sam had expected something to happen. Apart from the number of friends had multiplied, Sam didn’t know what being in a pack actually meant to him. 

For a few weeks he focused on school. He had lots of work to do, and he liked studying. Sam woke early, went on a run, showered and headed to class. He studied or spent time with friends, then he had a couple of hours in the evenings where he sat in his room, working on his essays.

Jo told him Ellen made dinner one night, and she wanted him to come. Since he didn’t have his own car he asked if he could ride with her, but she had left early. Instead she suggested that Sam found Dean, because he would be coming too. 

Sam hoped no one noticed how his insides made an excited jump. He’d thought about the alpha regularly since they first met. He figured out that he lectured at the university, but he had never seen him around. 

Jo had an office number and gave Sam the general directions, so when lunch rolled around he bought two coffees and tried finding his way through the maze of the building. He hadn’t had time to think it through, so when he came to a door which was labeled ‘Whinchester, D’ he stopped short. 

Before he had a chance to think of how to do this, or if he should just leave and try taking the bus instead, the door opened and a red headed woman stepped out into the hallway. She smiled at him and headed down the hall. 

The door was still open since she hadn’t bothered to close it with him standing there, and Dean noticed him. 

“Oh, hi, Sam. Is everything alright?” Dean got up from his chair and rounded the table, and Sam still hadn’t moved from his spot in the middle of the hall. 

“Do you want to come in?” Dean smiled. 

Sam nodded and walked through the door. He placed one coffee on Dean’s desk, and stood there cradling the other. 

“Please, sit down.”

“Thanks, but I’m not going to take up your time.” Sam swallowed and finally raised his eyes to look at Dean. The alpha looked just as confused as Sam felt, but he stood there smiling, and waiting for Sam to continue. 

“Jo talked about dinner at Ellen’s place, but then she drove off without me.” He said, and Dean’s smile turned into a laugh. 

“Yeah, she does that. Well, I’m heading there too at the end of the day, if you want to wait.”

“Oh, thank you. Yes, I… I… I mean, I’ve got classes until four, so that would be good.” He smacked himself mentally for being so awkward. He was never this weird in front of other people. 

“Great. Here, that’s my number. Text me when you’re done, and which building you’re at, and I’ll come get you.”

“You sure?” Sam stared from the card in his hand to Dean who sat down on the edge of his desk and picked up the coffee cup. 

“This for me?” He asked. 

Sam nodded, and there was no way he could look away when Dean carefully sniffed the contents. When he looked up his eyes sparkled amused. 

“Do you make a habit of bringing an intricate order of coffee the first time you bring coffee to someone?”

Sam paled. 

“I was in a rush, I meant to get you something planer. I mean, something less elaborate. Wow, should have went for the black coffee, shouldn’t I? Or are you a tea drinker?” 

Dean got up from his chair. 

“Hey, I’m just messing with you. Don’t worry. I’ll drink just about anything.” He smiled gently, and Sam needed to get out of there, before he made an even bigger fool of himself. 

“Oh” He said weakly. “I have to go to class now.”

“Don’t forget to text me. And thanks for the coffee.” Dean added with a teasing grin, while Sam hurriedly backed out of there. 

 

Sam had worried a bit about the drive to Ellen and Jo’s. Sitting alone in a car with Dean just had to be awkward. It turned out that Dean was good with small talk. He chatted about classes, about the different teachers, and talked about his own experiences with teaching. Before Sam knew it, they pulled up in front of Ellen’s house. 

Dean entered the house with a happy sound and praised Ellen for her cooking just as he reached the kitchen. She laughed at him. 

“You’re too kind, Dean. This is just any other Thursday, and you know it.”

“Well, anything you make is great.”

“Or you’re not eating enough at work.” She gave him a stern look. Then she turned toward Sam and apologized for how loud they were. As if Sam hadn’t already noticed that when he stayed there during his heat last time. 

He blushed at the thought and tried not to think about that. He had decided not to go back on suppressants, once he read up on it. He knew it would make his life a lot easier, but in the long run, maybe they weren’t great. 

 

In the weeks that followed, Sam was regularly at Ellen’s house having dinner. He also spent a lot of his time going out with his new friends. Most of them betas, a couple of omegas and a few alphas. Sam knew what Jo talked about, them being a special species, but then again, he still didn’t feel very differently about these alphas, than he did any other guy he might meet during his days. The only alpha who really got his blood pumping, was Dean.

Sam made a habit of visiting Dean at his office a couple of times through the week. Dean always invited him in, and sometimes they shared a coffee in tentative friendliness. Dean seemed a bit at a loss for what it was about, but Sam told him he was curious about the pack, and that Dean knew it better than any of the others he met. 

So they talked. Some days they sat down during their entire lunch. Other times Dean barely had the time to accept the offered coffee before he had to head out to a meeting or a class, but it was alright. Sam usually got what he wanted. To see Dean’s smile. Watch his eyes sparkle as he sniffed the coffee for today’s order and simply being around the man, feeling his alphaness and his scent surrounding him for a moment. 

When Sam was around his new friends, he was careful of what he displayed of affection. He was an affectionate guy, who liked to flirt and touch the people around him. It was part of who he was, it made him feel connected and good. But he didn’t want to give the wrong impression. Even if he had decided to stay and that entailed to some degree that they expected him to mate within the pack. Because, he might be getting there, he wanted that, but it didn’t mean he would get what he wanted. 

According to Jo, Dean was somewhat of a lost cause. Nobody said it out loud, but since he hadn’t mated when he had the chance a couple of years back, they didn’t think he would. He had been going out with a great omega, a woman named Lisa, and they had seemed perfect for each other. But suddenly they split up, and it had been a great loss for Dean. He’d taken it hard, and since then he never really gave all of himself to any interest there might be around him. 

“So, we all love him of course. He’s the best there is. If we could, we would have seen him mated to someone deserving of him, but sadly, we can’t force anything on him.” Jo huffed a laugh. 

“My mother treats him like her son, and so does most of the people her age. He’s practically a part of the high ranking pack members, and he is great at his job. I think he’s settled for what his life is, so I think he’s happy.” She insisted. 

Sam realized Jo was right. Dean seemed perfectly pleased with his life. But Sam went to see him regularly, and slowly they became somewhat like friends. There was an awkward age gap of ten years, but Sam wasn’t that easily spooked. 

 

Sam also knew that he was getting a bit possessive of Dean, which was stupid of him. When he got possessive, it was that much harder to hide his feelings. 

Seeing other people coming and going from Dean’s office always made him anxious. Those he knew for certain were students didn’t bother him. Dean had to help them with their school work somehow as it was his job after all. It was other faculty members or people Sam didn’t know that bothered him. 

He had no right, he knew that, but it didn’t help to know that at all. Sam was surprised by this side of himself. He never thought of himself as either possessive or jealous. But there he was, tampering his annoyance and insecurity when he was faced with the fact that he wasn’t alone in bringing Dean some goodies at work. 

There was especially one woman. She came and went in a whirlwind. Her eyes sparkled and her hair glistened like fire. Sam never caught her name and he didn’t want to ask, because it was none of his business. He realized that. Instead he had to face the fact that Dean always seemed happier, more chipper whenever that person had been visiting. 

 

It was one of those days and Sam had bought Dean’s favorite apple pie and shambled through the halls. The only reason he made it to class in time was because a friend had called him to ask where he was. Thankfully he lived on campus, or he’d have missed it. Then he realized there was a test he hadn’t studied for. For some reason he missed the notification and he felt like an idiot sitting by his desk so unprepared. Later on a guy behind him in the auditorium had spilled his orange juice into Sam’s bag by accident, and he was about ready to just leave for the day even if it was only lunch. 

The sign on Dean’s door said he was in and available so Sam barely rapped once and opened the door. Then he stopped. 

Dean sat in his chair with that red headed girl perched on the desk. One of her legs tucked under her and the other placed on Dean’s chair between his spread legs. They were laughing and Sam had never seen Dean so at ease and unguarded before. 

The girl noticed him first. She didn’t move but smiled at him as she kept looking happy and comfortable. Dean still had laughter in his eyes when he turned to see him. 

“Hi, Sam.” He sounded almost surprised and somehow that hurt more than seeing that girl practically in his lap. Because Dean knew by now that Sam would come by regularly, and he never acted surprised before. 

“Um, Sorry.” Sam muttered. He needed to get out of there. 

“No, don’t be. Come in, this is Charlie. Charlie, this is Sam.” Dean hurried to say. 

Charlie jumped down and came over to shake his hand. 

“Nice to finally meet you, Sam.” She said. Sam glanced at Dean, but it was difficult to read his face. Instead he smiled back and nodded. 

“You too, Charlie. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to my next class.” He waved awkwardly at Dean then he was out the door and down the hall, ignoring the annoying stinging in his eyes.


	4. Not enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is feeling the monday blues, I hope a new chapter might cheer you up!  
> Hope you like this next part <3

Dean stared after Sam then over to Charlie who watched him with her arms crossed over her chest. 

“That’s Sam? You have led me to believe he was some kind of scrawny kid who took up your time.” She narrowed her eyes and Dean hurried back to his desk to avoid her. She wasn’t fooled. 

“Really, Dean? He’s gorgeous and I know you think so too, because you’re a man who likes other men.” She insisted and it was ridiculous so Dean couldn’t help but laugh. 

“So what? He’s good looking and I didn’t tell you. You’re a woman who likes other women so I wouldn’t think you’d be interested.” He repeated her statement and she shook her head with a smile. Then she sobered up. 

“Dean…” 

He shook his head and stopped her. 

“Charlie, no. I know what you’re going to say and it’s not an option.”

“Why not?”

Dean pushed a hand through his hair feeling lost and uncertain for a moment. 

In the weeks since Sam had joined their pack, they had seen each other regularly. It was always Sam who came to Dean. He always brought coffee and more often than not he was munching on something sweet. Dean had learned he was a sugar addict and not even ashamed. 

They became tentative friends, in Dean’s opinion. He was weary at first, unsure of why Sam kept coming to see him, but he asked a lot about the pack so Dean figured he needed a sort of run down since apparently Bobby hadn’t said a word. 

It was easy. Sam was no typical omega, because he wasn’t raised as one. His parents more or less tried to forget about the whole embarrassment it had been to get a son like that, and treated him like a boy , or so Sam said. And that was not a bad thing in Dean’s opinion. Not really. Because that way, Sam had a chance to figure out who he was as a person without relying on his status to figure it out. 

He was feisty and not afraid to speak his mind. He had opinions on a lot of things and most of all, he didn’t submit to Dean simply because he was an alpha, or because it was in an omega’s nature to do so. 

So even if Charlie wanted to push for something more, Dean wouldn’t let her. Because he enjoyed spending time with Sam, and he was not about to ruin that by going alpha on him. 

 

Charlie left him to himself with a contemplative look on her face. That rarely bode well, but Dean didn’t have time to think about it now. He had classes to get to and then he had to go home, grade some papers, and then he’d go out with Benny and Charlie. 

Benny was his childhood friend. Growing up together, both being alphas, they were inseparable. Charlie had come into his life when he started working at the university. She was the IT-girl and she was a beta from a different pack. They still had a lot in common and eventually they started to hang out all three of them. 

When Dean arrived at the bar later that night, Charlie and Benny was already there. Benny handed him a beer and slapped his shoulder. 

Dean couldn’t relax properly. He knew he wasn’t off the hook. Not by a long shot. And he’d rather not do this. 

“So, Charlie tells me you’ve been spending time with our new addition to the pack.” Benny said, his voice soft. Which was another indication that they were conspiring against him, and that he would have to talk. 

Ever since he ‘lost’ his chance with Lisa, his pack around him had been trying to find someone for him to mate with, and from time to time they would bring it up.

Dean had been going out with Lisa for years. They met senior year in high school and stayed together for four years. It was perfect and they was viewed as the perfect couple to get mated, have some pups and lead their pack in the next generation. Only Lisa got pregnant, and it wasn’t Dean’s child. They had been going through a rough time, then she met with an alpha from another pack and that was that. 

Dean had been heartbroken. Because he had thought they would be together forever. He loved her and he pictured their future. So it was a while before he managed to pull himself back up, and by then people didn’t pressure him. But once in a while there would be questions. If he wanted to meet someone. Maybe he could take a trip, visit a neighboring pack perhaps. His friends had stopped asking a long time ago. Knowing him well enough to back off. Until Charlie had to read things into the situation that weren’t even there. 

“Oh, she did, did she?” Dean rolled his eyes but smiled weakly. 

“Yes, would you like to elaborate?” Benny asked. 

Dean shook his head. 

“There’s not much to elaborate on. He came by my office because he had some questions about the pack.” He shrugged. 

Benny chewed the inside of his cheek. 

“And that’s it?”

Dean nodded. 

“Come on, Dean. I’m not an idiot! He strolled into your office like he owned it, and he even brought apple pie, man.”

“He came with pie?” Benny asked amused.

Dean fought a blush. 

“I’m telling you, Benny. That boy is gone, gone on this alpha here.”

Dean closed his eyes with a shake of his head. He’d been trying very hard not to think that particular thought. Because what good would it do? 

His friends kept pushing him for answers Dean didn’t have. They drank, and perhaps Dean was drinking a little too much, too fast. Eventually he smacked his beer into the table. 

“Just stop it, okay? So he comes by a couple of times a week, it doesn’t mean anything! He’s new, curious and friendly. Just because he happens to be an omega and I’m an alpha, doesn’t mean we automatically has to pursue anything!”

“We know that, Dean. But if he’s visiting that often, he has to be interested?”

“It’s nothing. And if he is, then he’s probably just confused.”

Charlie let out a long sigh. 

“He’s not confused. Why won’t you even admit that?”

“What’s the point? He’s a child.”

“He’s twenty-two.” Charlie rolled her eyes. 

“I… I can’t.” Dean stared at the table. 

“Why, brother?” Benny tried. “And don’t tell me it’s because you’re lone wolf or some bullshit about not being right for him.”

“Well, I’m not so…” Dean got up on shaky legs and headed for the dance floor.

 

Dean woke the next morning to the shrill sound of his alarm clock. Why did he ever agree to go out with his friends on a weekday? He rolled over on his side, wishing absently he’d gone home with that tall brown eyed guy who kept sending him suggestive looks all night. Instead he’d stayed with his friends, feeling miserable while they kept talking about Sam. 

In the time that Sam had come to his office, Dean had tried not to read anything into it. Not that he was known to do that, but when this young, beautiful man kept coming back, with a dimpled smile and wild hair, it was hard to stay unaffected. Nothing had happened, no suggestion of a date, not even a question about whether Dean was seeing someone. And the few times Dean thought he noticed Sam watching him or, making a slightly submissive move to suggest something, he always talked himself out of it. 

Sam seemed so clueless of what he was and what affect that had on an alpha. When he exposed his entire neck, laughing at a joke Dean made, all Dean wanted to do was to latch onto it and mark it. Not that he let himself think about it, but it was there. 

When Sam glanced at Dean from under his bangs, innocent and teasing at once, Dean wanted to embrace him, protect him and tell everyone who he belonged to. But he didn’t, and Sam didn’t belong to anyone. He made his own path in his life and Dean admired him for it, so much. He felt lucky to be part of it, to know him somehow, but that was it. He didn’t need to fool himself into believing it was anything more. 

 

Dean got dressed, grabbed his backpack and his glasses and hurried to the university. He went as on autopilot. Knowing he probably looked as hungover as he felt, he tried to act a little bit professional despite of it. 

As lunch rolled around he had a coffee on his desk, ready to go get something simple to eat. He stood in the middle of the room when the door opened carefully and a familiar head peeked inside. Sam opened the door slowly and for a long moment he stood there, staring at Dean, eyes wide and his mouth open. 

“What?” Dean barked and Sam flinched. Dean didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but he was in a hurry and he didn’t feel well. And after talking to his friends last night, everything felt upside down. He felt guilty when Sam got a look on his face like a kicked puppy.

“I… I uh, didn’t know you wore glasses.” He stammered and flushed red. It was adorable and Dean had no idea what it was about. 

“Oh, yeah, well, I overslept this morning, and my contacts act out when that happens.” He said as way of explaining. 

Sam nodded, still not moving and continuing to watch him intently. 

“Man, Sorry. I just wanted to… apologize for barging in on you like I did yesterday.”

“Nothing to worry about.”

“Oh, I thought…” Sam trailed off and pushed a hand through his hair, messing it up. 

"What?"

Sam shook his head and closed his mouth. Dean grabbed his key and his phone. He didn't have time for confusing stuff like this.

“I have to go grab some lunch and head back here for a meeting with a colleague.” He motioned to the door and they walked down the hall together, in a somewhat awkward silence. Once they reached the cafeteria, Sam said good bye and left in the crowd. 

***

Dean was busy so he almost didn’t notice at first. But when he did, two weeks had passed without a single visit from Sam. He hadn’t seen the guy at all, and once he started thinking about it, he couldn’t stop. Dean made an effort to be in the cafeteria during lunch in case Sam would be there, but he only ran into Jo once. 

“Hi, Dean. What’s up?”

“Nothing much. Just getting some lunch before my next class.” 

She nodded and they had a comfortable lunch together. According to her, Sam was busy with exams and spending time with his friends. Dean didn’t ask her to elaborate. 

Spring break was just around the corner and Dean could feel it everywhere. Students getting ready to head out, get a break from school and party their way through the week. It was exhausting and it was exciting for all of them. Dean had been there too once, but he was not eager to revisit it. 

Instead their pack used to have a gathering during the break, since almost everyone would be around. It contained good food, friendly people and a lot less drinking. Dean wondered absently if Sam would be there or if he had planned to head south for the duration. 

He got a chance to ask when all of a sudden Sam caught up to him in the parking lot one day. 

“Hi, stranger.” He said, looking happy and a little windswept. 

“Hi yourself. You done for the day?” Dean got a warm feeling settling in his mid- section. He refused to acknowledge it. 

“I’m done for the week. Ready for spring break.” He cheered. Those long legs didn’t have a problem falling into steps with Dean’s brisk walk. 

“Yeah? You heading south?”

Sam shook his head. “Nah, still recovering from last year.” He grinned and Dean laughed loudly.

 

Dean was a little ashamed to admit that he was glad Sam would stay at home. He had no right to be, but it was there nonetheless. Dean looked forward to the event in the pack even more. Everyone needed a breather, and what better way to do that than to prepare and work hard to get everyone together. 

It was a good thing, even if everyone had to put in a little extra effort. When he came over to his parents’ home a few days before the event he sank down into the couch with a sigh.

“Your students giving you a hard time?” John smiled teasingly. 

“Tell me about it. They might be twenty something, but most of them act like teenagers during this time of the year.”

“Well that’s just how it is. You did too once.”

Dean huffed, but he couldn’t deny it. 

“How are we doing on the event?”

“It’s coming together. Last minute preparations are to be expected.” John didn’t sound stressed, which meant it was all getting ready. 

“I heard our new omega is getting friendly with one of our alphas?”

Dean froze and had to tell himself to relax, but he knew his interested smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“That Meg kid. She is alright, isn’t she?”

Dean thought about it. Small and perky, arrogant, witty and smart. Sure, yeah, she was a nice kid. Strong and opinionated. Dean tried not picturing it and just hummed noncommittedly. 

 

When the event finally rolled around Dean was tense, but he was ready. When Sam arrived with Meg by his side as well as Jo and Kevin he wasn’t surprised. He watched them from the corner of his eyes. All of them seemed happy and relaxed, talking animatedly and laughing. Meg kept a hand on Sam’s arm and the omega didn’t seem to mind the constant touching. 

Dean and Benny stood a little to the side nursing their beers. The night had gone by so fast, some of the families with young children were already taking their stuff and headed out of there. Benny leaned against the railing, taking in the view around them. Dean faced the party, telling himself he didn’t keep an eye on Sam. 

“Dean, you’re being creepy.”

“Not doing anything.” Dean muttered. Meg had her arm around Sam’s slim waist, holding him tight. At one point Sam had wiggled out of her grasp and sat down next to Jo, whispering something in her ear. Dean bit the inside of his cheek.

“Yes, don’t try and deny it.” Benny said nudging his shoulder. Dean sighed and turned his back to the entire thing. 

They kept a conversation about work and how much they looked forward to the summer break, when Benny suddenly straightened his back and cleared his voice.

Dean turned around, facing Sam. He watched them closely before smiling sweetly. 

“Dean? Aren’t you going to introduce me?” He said. 

Dean ignored Benny’s grin and introduced these two people to each other. Sam continued with an easy chatter. Raving about the food while flailing his arms in his eagerness to talk. 

“You’re drunk, aren’t you?” Dean said after a moment of watching Sam’s rosy cheeks and his slightly glossy eyes. Dean was ready to blame it all on Meg, and wanted to take her apart. Instead Sam stepped closer to him, giggling. 

“Shh.” He whispered. 

“It’s not exactly a secret.” Dean said, trying to pull away, knowing full well that Benny witnessed the entire thing with badly concealed amusement. 

“Whaat? I only had one tiny glass.” Sam insisted, lips smiling wide and Dean had to look away from the temptation. Jo stood by the table watching them with laughter in her eyes. 

“Jo made it, and she said nobody would know.” 

Benny couldn’t hold back a laugh at that and Sam giggled again, still clinging to Dean’s arm. Having that warm, long body pressed up against him made it hard to stay unaffected, but Dean was determined if nothing else.

“Oh you had one of Jo’s drinks.” Dean sighed. “And you’re a lightweight.” 

“I am.” Sam confirmed with a slow nod, pressing his lips tightly together. Dean wasn’t sure why that information both bothered him and also charmed him quite a bit. Sam leaned into Dean even closer, almost like he was subtly scenting him. Dean swallowed hard. 

“Sam, listen. Just… sit down and I’ll bring you something to eat.” Dean practically pushed Sam into a chair, ordering Benny to keep an eye on him. When he turned his back to them he barely heard Sam’s word over the buzzing in his ears.

“He does that to me. One moment he’s really friendly and nice, the next he’s pushing me away like I did something wrong. Oh, did I do something wrong?” Sam sounded distressed and every fiber of Dean’s alpha demanded he get back there, reassuring his omega that he could not have done something wrong. Damn it, not his omega.


	5. A bond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's not even monday yet, but I will not be able to post anything tomorrow, so I thought I'd just get to it tonight.   
> I hope you like this next part, which will reveal some new development in the 'thing' between the boys. 
> 
> xx

Sam woke up with a bad headache and a heavy heart. He wasn’t sure why he felt like that, but the night had been so confusing. After they left the event with the pack to go out, Sam had lost track of time and also drinks, but when Meg asked if they could go back to her place, Sam had pleaded with Jo to go with her instead. He knew he had misjudged how much Meg would read into their connection.

Of course Meg was disappointed, but Sam also knew he wasn’t ready for anything more than friendship. Because in all honesty he wasn’t really ready for anything. He knew what he wanted, but part of him didn’t think it was a possibility. 

Whatever he heard about Dean, it always told about a guy who knew how his life would go, someone who had arranged his life the way it was now. And he didn’t have any intentions of changing that any time soon.

 

Spring break went by in a rush and a part of Sam was glad it did. He had dinner at Ellen and Jo’s place almost every day. He also visited Meg a few times even if things didn’t change between them. 

They headed out to drink and have a good time a few times, it was spring break after all. And to his surprise they’d run into Dean the last night. He was there with that red headed woman and Benny and a couple of others Sam didn’t know. 

He told himself to just ignore it. He didn’t have to go over there no matter how much he wanted to. Sam was unsure if there was any point in trying to get to know Dean better. Because every time they seemed to get closer, Dean distanced himself and Sam felt like they had to start all over again.

A couple of drinks in, Sam was bubbly and giggling. His hair was beginning to sweat a little at the nape of his neck and his face felt hot. He had a great time, and when the chance presented itself, he took it. 

Dean had been sitting with his friends by their table most of the night, but Sam had noticed how he deliberately faced their direction, and he had caught him watching. Of course, Sam couldn’t be sure it meant anything, but he was drunk and he was feeling a little reckless, sue him. So when Dean suddenly stood next to him by the bar he leaned into his shoulder. 

“Why aren’t you dancing?” He asked a little breathless and welcoming the fluttering in his belly. God, the alpha smelled good. Dean turned to look at him with a skeptical look. 

“I don’t do that.” He said. 

Sam took a step back, feigning shock. 

“You don’t- No. That’s not acceptable. This is a night club, it’s meant for dancing!” Sam insisted. Dean watched him with amusement in his eyes. 

“Is it?” Dean lifted an eyebrow, casting a glance around them. The place was packed, and even if that included the dance floor, it was still a lot of people hanging back, drinking or attempting to talk to others. 

“Oh, you know it is.” Sam faced him and slowly, those tantalizing green eyes came up to meet his. Sam leaned closer, and Dean didn’t pull back.

“Come with me.” Sam said softly, tilting his head just so with a sweet smile. 

Dean’s eyes smiled at the corners and Sam could barely look away from that mouth. When the alpha bowed his head with a slight shake Sam felt a pang of rejection. 

“I can’t.” Dean said quietly. 

Sam nodded and started to pull back. Dean reached out to grab his hand. 

“Your date is waiting for you, you know.” Dean inched his head in the direction and Sam turned around to see Meg give him a wave. 

“She’s not - Fine.” Sam gave Dean a last vain smile then he walked over to Meg who pulled him back on the dance floor. 

 

Once school started again Sam got caught up in his studying for a while. Eventually he decided he would go check in with Dean, because he was inevitably drawn to the alpha. It had become a habit and Sam didn’t want to feel weird about the last time they met. After getting a chance to think about it, and also to shake the rejected feeling he realized that Dean probably just did what he felt was right. 

Sam seemingly was there with Meg, so checking up someone else might not have been his smartest move. Dean had just done the right thing. Yeah, that was it, and Sam should stop feeling sorry for himself.  
Sam bought a coffee like he always did and knocked on Dean’s door a moment later. 

“Come in.”

Sam looked inside at Dean sitting by his desk with his glasses on. He loved it when Dean wore his glasses. It made him look so serious and it was so tempting trying to ruffle his looks.

“Hi, do you want coffee?” Sam handed Dean his cup and stood awkwardly behind a chair. 

“Thanks, man. I always forget how much work I should do during the breaks. It comes back to bite me in the ass, every damn time.” 

With a closer glance Sam noticed how tense Dean looked, with a frown in his forehead and his jaws tight. 

“That sucks. I’ll get out of your way so you can get on with your work.” Sam said quietly and started to back out. 

Dean stood from his chair and took off his glasses. 

“Sam, wait a sec.” 

When he walked around the desk, Sam suddenly felt unsure of what this was. Dean didn’t look happy, he was tense and angry in his stance. Sam had never seen him like that. The alpha rubbed a hand across his face, and took a deep breath before meeting his eyes again. 

“I’m confused, so I need to ask this. What are you playing at?”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked. 

There was a flicker of annoyance in Dean’s eyes and he took a step closer. Sam backed up. 

“I mean with you coming here all the time. Then weeks pass and nothing. You start dating this alpha, and you still seek me out, and wanted to dance. I don’t know what it’s about and I’m confused.”

“I… I thought we had become something like friends.” Sam said carefully. His face felt hot, but he stared at the alpha in front of him, refusing to back down. 

“Friends? I tell you what. Friends don’t flirt and touch each other all the time, or come with gifts whenever they meet.” Dean came closer for each word, until Sam’s back was pressed to the wall behind him. His heart was beating out of control and there was a flicker of alpha red in Dean’s eyes for a moment. Sam could not tell if he felt scared or excited. Probably somewhere in between.

Dean’s alpha pheromones filled the entire room, and even more now that he was worked up like this. Sam felt his omega submit to the alpha. Yield and lower his glance, minimize his stance. 

“Its…I mean I didn’t… uh, I…” He closed his mouth and stared at their feet so close together.

“Sam, what is it that you want?” Dean said on a harsh breath outward. His hands smacked hard against the wall by Sam’s head. 

Sam jumped in surprise and felt a thrill run down his back as he forced his eyes to come up, to connect with the alpha in front of him. They stood close. Sam felt his heart beat so hard and loudly he barely heard anything else. 

The alpha in front of him radiated power and tension. Sam had no experience with this, but his head told him to hold his ground. To keep eye contact and try to read the situation. It was hard, when a strong instinct told him to submit and soothe the alpha. Another part of him wanted him to reach out, and his lips desperately wanted to taste. 

Dean breathed heavily, he kept his hands on the wall on each side of Sam’s head, and their bodies almost touched. When his eyes lowered just for a second, Sam couldn’t stop himself even if he wanted to. He leaned forward, connecting his lips with the alpha in front of him. And for a moment time stood still. Neither moved, they just stood there, lips touching, and their eyes still staring. 

With a sudden growl Dean surged forward. He pushed Sam against the wall so hard his breath left in a rush, but his arms clung to the alpha and he kissed him back for all it was worth. Their bodies lined up together, and the heavy weight pushing Sam back was heavenly. The alpha tasted like coffee and home. Sam opened up to let him in and uttered a low moan when Dean immediately took what was offered. 

Dean’s hands cradled his face, then pushed into his hair, making a mess and pulling at it. Sam let him, and he enjoyed every second. The feeling of the hard line of the alpha’s body pressed up against his front had Sam pushing back, wanting more, urging him on.

When Sam with a soft whimper let his head roll back, Dean huffed a pleased sound and followed the trail of his neck, placing hard kisses all the way to his collarbone. He nibbled there, teeth scraping hard enough to hurt and Sam let out a loud yelp.

Dean’s head snapped up. His eyes wild and dark and he backed away until he was standing with a chair between them. Almost like he needed a physical barrier. Sam supported his weight on the wall behind him, breathing hard and stared unfocused at the alpha in front of him.

“I’m… Sam I’m sorry.” Dean rasped, out of breath. 

“Dean, don’t be.” Sam pleaded weakly. Dean’s eyes looked hard and a angry again. 

“Listen, Sam. This went too far.” Dean sounded hoarse, but he didn’t weaver.

“I want this. You asked what I wanted, Dean, and this is what I want. I want you.” Sam said loudly. Suddenly feeling so naked and exposed. Dean stared at him like he was a stranger and when he lowered his head, Sam grabbed his bag and hurried out of there. Ignoring the voice calling his name. 

Sam was not going to cry. He might be an omega, supposed to show his feelings, but he was also a man, and a grown up, so no, he was not going to cry. At least not until he was alone. 

He went on with his day, feeling almost physically sick. No food tasted right, everything around him sounded too loud and when he finally made it to his dorm room, it was too quiet. 

 

After a couple of days Sam still felt the same and he started to think it was a bit much, that he was overreacting. Because even if he now knew that he really did think of Dean as his alpha, there hadn’t been anything between them other than a very tentative friendship. And it had all been initiated by Sam. It wasn’t supposed to hurt that badly when they hadn’t even been together. 

Sam had heard about broken bonds. Mates who split up, and tearing apart their mating bond. That kind of separation would hurt physically. It was hard to move on and it all happened because once you mated, everyone said that you didn’t want anything else. 

Before all of this, Sam thought that was a very strange thing. In the world these days nobody stuck with the same partner for life. In his experience, eventually people grew apart. After meeting this pack he realized that all of the mates had been with the same person ever since they mated. It didn’t mean everything was perfect, Sam knew it wasn’t, but it also proved that a mating bond was no joke. Breaking one was even worse. And when he did some reading about the symptoms, Sam could tick off on every single one. 

Chest pains, check. 

Headache, check. 

Nauseous, check.

Not hungry, check. 

Lost interest for things around him, check. 

Crying, check.

Out of breath, double check.

Bad dreams, check. 

The list went on and Sam closed the page and refused to look at it anymore. It didn’t make sense to him, to have all of these symptoms without having experienced the cause of them. 

Sam tried to ignore it. What else could he do? It wasn’t the bond thing, because there was no bond to break. He simply was unaccustomed to big emotions and feelings. He was young and before meeting Dean he hadn’t even thought about spending his life with someone. Let alone mating.

His friends started to ask if he was alright, and Sam took that to his heart. He made an effort, showered, shaved and put on a smile before he left his dorm. Thankfully, people complimented him on feeling better so Sam kept on smiling, and when his day of classes was done he headed to the library and checked out any book he could find about Born Omegas. 

He avoided most contact with his friends, and they didn’t question it, because they were all busy getting ready for their finals. The pack was quiet, and whenever some of them reached out, Sam got out of it. He needed time, and he needed it to himself.

Sam made a decision after what happened with Dean; he distanced himself and decided he would hold on until summer break. Then he had to make a change to work through this.

In between reading for his finals, Sam spent all of his time reading books on Born Omegas. Most of it was sexualized material of course, with how every omega was great breeders. Well, Sam wasn’t going to keep reading that stuff. It was insulting to think just because he was an omega, he was only good for one thing. Besides, that’s not even what he was looking for.

A week later, empty coffee cups, a half- eaten sandwich and several crumbled up papers lay strewn on the floor where Sam sat cross legged. His eyes felt sore, but he had finally gotten a picture of what he was going through. 

Now, all he really wanted was to get home to see his parents.


	6. Heavy heart

Dean knew from the second he lay eyes on the born omega that he was in trouble. He had no idea how bad, but he had known. Nobody in his life had affected him like the young omega did, not even Lisa.   
And now he’d gone and ruined everything, for himself and apparently Sam too. 

Dean had taken a few days to get back in control after they kissed in his office. Every time he walked in there, he could picture Sam’s hair a mess, or those kissed out lips slightly parted. And how his eyes had glowed with so much unsaid. His scent lingered even after Dean tried opening the window to air it out. But it was there, and Dean was not prepared to admit to any of it or what it might mean. 

Because as far as he was concerned, this omega was so young and unaccustomed to being in a pack, he had to be confused. Someone as pure and real as Sam had to realize the unfit match they made. 

It was a busy time of year, so Dean didn’t think too hard about it when he stopped seeing Sam around. He didn’t expect him to come back to his office, but Ellen made dinner regularly, and Sam wasn’t there. When Dean asked they all shrugged and said he was busy. 

And he most likely was. With finals and the end of the year and Dean knew Sam was graduating this year. He had told him when they talked through lunch a while back, and it seemed to mean a great deal to Sam. He didn’t have a job lined up, or a clear plan for his future, but he was ready to face it. 

Dean decided he would have to get to Sam instead of hoping for a chance to see him around. When he didn’t answer his calls Dean tried remembering his schedule and made sure to be outside the exit. Telling himself he wasn’t being creepy.

It had been three weeks since they last saw each other. And Sam had changed in that time. His shoulders slumped and when he noticed Dean his face closed off entirely and the once so expressive eyes, looked dull in comparison. Was he ill or had he really affected the omega that bad?

Dean took a deep breath and approached him. Sam seemed to weigh his options, but came to a halt when he didn’t find a direction to get away. The thought had Dean’s stomach twisting anxiously. 

“Hi, Sam.”

“Dean.” Sam smiled. Something was clearly off, but Dean didn’t know how to ask him especially not out here. 

“How are you doing on the exams?”

“Fine, I guess.” He nodded and started walking at a slow pace, waiting for Dean to follow. 

“Did you need something?” He asked, sounding a bit unsure.

“I called you.” Dean watched him closely. 

“I have been studying.” Sam looked like he wanted to just shrug it off, but his eyes gave him away with the way they shifted uncomfortably around. 

“I know, I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

“Well I am, so…” He clearly didn’t want to continue this conversation and Dean was at a loss for how to go on. It felt awkward enough already, but the tension in Sam was painfully obvious, and Dean already missed the way the omega had been so full of life, and how he had been so relaxed around Dean. 

“Sam, listen. I… last time-“ Dean stopped when Sam tightened his jaw and turned to face him. 

“Don’t, Dean, we don’t have to talk about it.”

“What? Why? You haven’t been around ever since so I think I should tell you I’m sorry. I let it go too far.”

“You let it go too far? What about me? I did this! I kissed you first.” Sam hissed the last part, glancing around to make sure nobody heard. 

Dean sighed. 

“Okay you did, but from there I just didn’t stop.”

“Why does that matter? I never asked you to.” Sam sounded distressed. 

“Sam, it’s… why aren’t you mad at me? I nearly bit you back there, and still you insist that you didn’t mind.”

“Because I told you. I told you what I wanted, and you, you don’t so if anyone should be apologizing it’s me. Dean, you keep talking like this is all you, but I’m not some weak omega who doesn’t know right from left. I know what I want, but I’m just not good enough.” Sam finished quietly, he swallowed hard and Dean could only stare as Sam hurried away in the crowd.

It wasn’t right. Dean couldn’t leave it like that. But he knew that if he tried seeking out Sam again he wouldn’t get anywhere. Dean walked back to his office, he had a lot of work to do with grading papers before the end of the year, but his head was swimming and his heart felt so heavy in his chest all of a sudden. 

Sam’s words never stopped rolling around in his head, poking at him, making the unease grow. Dean had treated him like a stereotypical omega. He had always prided himself on being different from others. To treat anyone as a person first, and their status coming second. Instead he’d gone and acted all stereotypically alpha. 

 

Dean tried to tough it out. He needed to put some distance between himself and what happened. He refused to sit down and think about what all of it could mean, but it was there, grating in the back of his mind. The way Sam had been acting around him. Of all the others in the pack, it was only Jo or Ellen that Sam had spent so much time with, except for Dean. The omega had come back to him again and again, and even if he hadn’t said anything, Dean knew now. He knew that Sam had tried to get to know him, to be closer and eventually things came to a halt when it blew up in their faces. And Dean had made him feel like he wasn’t good enough. In his book, that was what hurt the most, because Dean knew all too well how that felt.

Charlie opened the door to his office one day, and for a long moment Dean wasn’t even aware she was there. 

“Dean? Are you alright?”

“What? Oh, hi, Charlie. What are you doing here?” He smiled, but it didn’t feel like his real smile. 

“I’m here to see if you’re ready for lunch, but clearly you’re busy.” She narrowed her eyes critically. 

“Not busy.”

“Obviously. What’s going on with you lately?” Charlie sat down and rested her elbows on Dean’s desk. He sighed, knowing that the mess he had made for himself was not something he wanted to talk about. Instead he got up from his chair, grabbing his jacket as he promised he’d pay for lunch. 

Charlie knew when to keep her distance and she also knew when it was time to say something. While they walked the short distance to a coffee house on campus they talked about school, and what they wanted to do during the summer break. She had plans to get back to her own family and her own pack, just like she did every year. 

Once they sat down with their sandwiches and coffees, silence fell, and the tension grew. Dean had a feeling he wasn’t off the hook, but he wasn’t ready to be prodded and teased until he talked. Not this time. 

“Have you talked to Benny?”

“No, why?” Dean grabbed a napkin to dry off the corner of his mouth. 

“He’s going to visit his brother after the pack-gathering next week.” She said. 

Dean stared at her, knowing she had more. After a while she sighed. 

“You’re miserable, Dean. So you need to just go with Benny. Take some time away instead of moping around. Have some fun, hook up with a nice omega and forget about whatever it is you’re dealing with.” She burst out and Dean pressed his lips tightly shut. The thought of a random omega feeling uncharacteristicly wrong. A warm hand came to rest on his forearm. 

“Dean, listen to me. I’m not going to pry, but please, if you need to take some time off, just… I mean, it might do you good.” She said quietly, giving his arm a squeeze before sitting back to keep eating.

Dean watched her for a long moment. He really adored Charlie, he always had. Her good spirit and her way of reading him better than most was refreshing. He poked at his half eaten sandwich, a sure sign things was bad. 

“Charlie… I… thank you. I’ll think about it.”

“Please do. Now, let’s go back to the office. A couple more days and we’re out of here!” She cheered, totally ignoring everyone who stared at her for being loud and Dean got up with a grin. She really was a ray of sunlight. 

***

John paced back and forth in his own living room. Mary stood to the side, trying to get him to sit down, while Dean sat slumped over on their couch. 

“What do you want me to do?”

“You’ve got a way to make people listen to you. Why don’t you have a chat with Sam?”

Dean shared a look with Mary, and he wasn’t exactly happy with the way she searched his face. She could always tell when something was up with him. 

“This isn’t something to worry about. So he’s visiting his parents. What’s the big deal? Bobby already talked to him.”

Dean wasn’t exactly thrilled at the thought himself, but he was not in a place where he could get answers from Sam at the moment. Sam had barely talked about his parents, but Dean had gotten a distinct feeling that the relationship was strained. Seriously so. And it was a surprise when he heard that Sam had decided to go visit them over the summer. 

It wasn’t unusual for pack members to travel and visit other packs, because a lot of them had friends and families around. Sometimes, like Benny, he and his brother had first come to stay there, but Benny’s brother had mated with someone from a neighboring pack and moved there. That kind of thing happened all the time, so it was normal for them to travel across boarders so to speak. 

As for Born Omegas, it was a little more stressful, because their family didn’t belong to any pack. And they didn’t know what kind of people this was. Would they support Sam’s choice, or would they convince him to move on, find something better? Especially now after Dean hurt him. Albeit unknowingly at first. 

John sat down in a chair by Dean. 

“The big deal is, son. He might decide to move on, find a new pack.”

Dean took a deep breath. The thought alone hurt deep in his bones, and his alpha wanted to rise on his hind legs and howl. He had to remind himself that he alone was the reason for this debacle. In his attempt to live his life like he was used to. And while guiding the younger alphas in the face of a Born Omega, he’d stepped right into it himself. And yes, he’d kissed Sam with all he had, but a part of him thought perhaps there was even more behind Sam’s decision. 

“He won’t. Or he’ll tell us at least.” Dean said slowly. 

John stared at him. 

“What’s wrong with you? I thought you would be more upset. This pack is ours, and we’re supposed to fight for it.”

Dean glanced over at his mother when she came forward. 

“John, calm down. Dean can’t solve everything. If Sam has made a decision to go see his parents. He is free to do so. We need to stay calm. Panic will spread too fast.” She said quietly. Her eyes told Dean that she read something in him, but he ignored that. Mary could have her suspicions, Dean needed to keep this to himself. 

 

During the events within their pack, everyone came together and sometimes it was a struggle to keep everyone occupied. Especially the kids. Most of them grew up in this and knew how it worked, but they were still kids. That would mean screaming, running kids, crying and fighting. But also laughter and a chance to connect and learn how to live the way they did. Learn what it meant being loyal to their friends, and tolerate each other even if they met the same people again and again. 

Dean knew it was hard on a lot of the parents to juggle everything, so he would arrange for some of the oldest teenagers, to play with the children. This time around he decided he would occupy himself with the kids. He loved them, no matter what he might say, and it was also a great opportunity for him to be busy and not sit around, observing whatever went on with Sam. 

He brought a few games and set it up in a far corner of the garden. Like always the kids gathered around quickly and they started to play a pretend baseball game. It didn’t take long before they were all engrossed in the game, Dean sometimes stopped them to gesture or tell them off for playing unfair. He taught them how to solve a dispute before going back to the game again.

By the time someone called for them to come eat, all of them was sweaty and smiling. Dean grinned as they high fived him on their way to the buffet.

Dean had deliberately focused on the kids, but now that he made his way over to the buffet he couldn’t help but seek out Sam in the crowd. He was there, Dean knew, because that scent was familiar and stood out enough for Dean to recognize when he arrived. 

When he caught sight of him, Sam sat on the stairs where Dean often liked to sit, and those slightly slanted eyes was following Dean’s steps across the grass. He looked sad and distant, but the longing Dean met in his gaze, made his stomach turn heavily. 

Even if John wanted him to, Dean knew that he would respect Sam’s need for distance between them. He wasn’t going to force himself on the guy, because he knew that any attempts would not be appreciated. 

It was a bit of a surprise that Sam came up to him at the table. Dean filled his glass with soda, and when Sam reached out his cup he filled his as well. Both stood there awkwardly after, until Sam took a deep breath. 

“I’m visiting my parents over the summer.” He said quietly. 

“I heard. Are they expecting you?” Dean asked. 

Sam nodded and pushed a hand through his hair. 

“Yes. I’m planning to come back for the late summer party. Jo told me it was supposed to be a big deal.” Sam smiled weakly. Dean’s heart hurt. 

“That’s nice. We usually have two grand events, and one of them is in the summer.”

“Oh. I like that. When is the other?”

“After Christmas.” Dean smiled and got a soft one in return. 

“Are you planning on traveling this summer?” Sam said just when Dean thought he should end the conversation. 

“I’m going with Benny when he’s visiting his brother. They got a daughter in January.” Dean told him. 

“Alright, that's nice. I hope you’ll have a great time.” It was all a contrast to how Sam looked. Tired and hurting, but he was trying so Dean wouldn’t comment on it.

“Yeah, you too man. And I hope to see you around.” Dean said the last part quietly, coming out even more insisting than he intended. He saw Sam swallow hard before he said a good bye and strolled toward Jo. 

Dean stared after him for so long he was certain everyone in the pack had to notice. With a mental shake of his head, he hurried back to the ballgame.


	7. Hot Chocolate

Sam closed his eyes once he was safely on the bus back to his parents. He’d packed all of his things and moved out of his dorm. Since he had promised to come back after the summmer, he left a few things at Ellen and Jo’s place. The rest was in his bags to be brought to his parents’ home. 

It was warm and clammy on the bus, Sam’s t-shirt already stained under his arms and his back. He didn’t care. Instead he let his mind wander, trying to relax. Finally being alone, away from everyone was a relief. He knew he should seek out someone, talk it through, but right now he needed his family. The people who knew him, those he had grown up with. Because ever since he presented as omega, he thought his parents was disappointed. Instead he had learned that they had been hurting and concerned for him. 

Being part of a pack was a big deal, and Sam had quickly learned that he liked it, he wanted that for himself. What he hadn’t thought would happen, and he didn’t want for himself, was to feel rejected and unwanted by the one alpha his entire being longed for. The omega in him was constantly hurting, and he didn't know how to cope with it.

Sam felt like it was sneaking up on him. He had been attracted to Dean the instant they met, but it was more than that. He had felt an urge to see him again, to connect with him and be close. And by doing so, Sam had quickly formed a scent bond to the alpha. One sided as it was, if he had known, he would have tried to control it before it managed to settle. 

In all his research, Sam had learned that omegas had a stronger sense of scents than any other. A Born Omega even more so. That meant they had a great strength when meeting new people, learning to know them faster, reading their friends’ moods and so on. But it also meant they were vulnerable to this exact thing, to form bonds with the people around him, especially a scent bond between mates. So long as the bond was two ways, it made for an even stronger bond, but in Sam’s case, the bond would not lead to anything, and it would make his life miserable. At least that’s what he experienced so far. 

Making an effort to stay away from Dean had been easy, the alpha felt like he’d screwed up and Sam wasn’t going to tell him what really happened, because he would fix it. But the second Sam arrived at the event by the summer house, he was right back where he had been. 

In the weeks of finals, Sam really thought he had been able to distance himself from Dean, to slowly try and break the bond. Being faced with the alpha, running around, laughing and smelling like home and power, Sam almost doubled over with a pang of pain in his chest and feeling out of breath. The only moment he was relaxed, was when he shared the small conversation with Dean by the buffet. 

***

Sam walked up the stairs at his childhood home and knocked carefully on the door. He heard steps from the inside, and an excited barking. Sam smiled to himself, and when the door opened he was prepared for the armful of dog. She licked his face eagerly, sniffing his hair and waggled her tail. 

“Hi there, sweetheart.” He scratched behind her ear and kissed the snout before putting her back down. When he straightened up he met his mother’s eyes and she opened her arms. 

“Oh, Sam.” She sighed and hugged him tightly.

His mother had been smaller than Sam for years, but her hugs had always made him feel like the small one. Sam pulled back and smiled down at her. 

“Come on. I made you your favorite tea.”

“Hot chocolate.” He sighed.

“You know it.” She smiled widely. 

It was six month since he saw her last, and they had parted on very uncertain terms. Sam had just discovered that there were other omegas in his classes and he told his family that he wanted to pursue it. Nobody had denied him, but his mother had strongly advised him to be careful. He had been so angry with his family when he started to get to know everyone in the pack. Because he felt like he had been living under a rock his entire life. 

His mother watched him from across the table. 

“Sam, why did you decide to come back here?”

With a shake of his head, Sam smiled without feeling it. He sipped the hot chocolate. Something he used to do when the rest of his family enjoyed their tea. 

“I needed a break. And I was so mad at you. I thought you had kept this from me all these years because you were ashamed and disappointed in me.”

“Honey, how could you think that? We only tried to protect you.”

Sam looked into her eyes, knowing she was right. 

“I know that now, but I still wished you had told me.” Sam said quietly. 

Sam spent the first days of his summer break mostly in his room. He was at a loss for what to do, but it was a great feeling just to lounge around, catch up with his mother and father and eventually things didn’t feel as awkward anymore. 

 

Sam had discovered during his research that any omegas had a closer connection to their own senses. And he realized quickly that it wasn’t necessarily a good thing. Not in these times. Before, when alphas and omegas ran around on all four, and with fur, that would have been a very important skill to have. Unfortunately evolution hadn’t changed all of the things they carried, and the scent thing being one of them. 

Sam’s parents had known. To some degree at least, and once Sam told them a little bit about Dean, they just accepted that’s what had happened. And they promised to help him out. In all honesty, Sam had no idea how to deal with this, and he wasn’t sure his parents could either. In his mind it felt like there was no way out of it, like he had to live with this pain forever. 

Hanging around his old hometown Sam met up with old friends, he met some new people and he also had a lot of time to himself. He sat outside in the sun, enjoying the warmth and the quiet, and one day he started writing. 

Without a clear plan he made notes from his own experiences, talked about being a Born Omega and compared it to the literature he had read on the topic. 

This was what summer break should be all about, doing nothing, and doing only the things he liked. His grandparents came by from time to time, there were uncles and aunts, as well as neighbors and so on. Sam had always felt different and out of place amongst most of them, but this time around his parents really stood by his side. It made him feel safer and more at ease.

Dean came to mind quite often. The thought of his grin, the way those eyes got attractive crinkles around them, and his easy going nature. Sam thought about the kiss, and how everything had been so bad after. Sam wished he knew what he’d done wrong. Instead he was lying there, thinking about him, knowing that Dean didn’t want him, not in the way he so dearly wished. 

*** 

Sam met Ruby one month before he was due back to his pack. She was a beautiful petite beta who easily maneuvered her way into Sam’s life. It wasn’t hard because he felt alone, with no one like him around as far as he knew. T

Then one day she was there, he had been outside for a run, and when he stopped to cool off in the park across from his parents’ house, she was there. She came to sit on the bench he currently stretched his legs on and he stared at her, startled and guarded once he got a whiff of her scent. 

“I’m Ruby.” She reached out a hand. 

“Sam.” He shook it once then turned back to his routine. She didn’t smell familiar, but there was a lingering familiarity to her, because she was like him. Sam still decided he needed to keep his guard up.

Ruby wasn’t deterred. She sat there the entire time, asking him questions, where he was from, what he was doing there. She was on her way to meet her sister, an omega with two kids. 

“And I am stalling. Not in a hurry to listen to those screams.” She sighed and Sam tried to hide his smile. 

They started to meet there in the park. Not really planned, but not entirely surprising either. Ruby would run quietly next to him, then when he stretched she kept talking, constantly. But Sam liked her. She was cute, she had charm and she kept him company. 

Sam went with her one day to see her sister and those kids, and he couldn’t understand why she didn’t like them. They didn’t scream and Sam had a nice time playing with them outside in their garden. Ruby’s sister welcomed him back any time especially if he wanted to babysit for a while.

When they walked back to Sam’s house Ruby asked him what he wanted to do after the summer. He had already told her about graduating, and she told him she had graduated two years prior. 

“Go back to my pack, then I’ll take it from there.” He said. 

“Alright, but what about work? Don’t you want to do something, or are you getting mated?” She scrunched up her nose and Sam would have liked to know what that was about. 

“No, nothing like that. I’m kind of already working on something.” He admitted eventually. 

“Yeah? Tell me.”

Sam laughed it off, not really wanting to share it with her. She might become his friend, but they still had a way to go. 

And they did. With Ruby around, Sam didn’t spend as much time wondering what Dean was up to. More than once had he stared at his number, almost calling, but he knew he shouldn’t. The less contact, the easier it would be to separate himself from the bond he had formed. So he kept Ruby around even if she came on a little strong. She was insistent, but nice enough to pull it off. Sam assumed that she was a little lonely herself. 

Sam told Ruby about his work, after she showed up one night as he sat on the porch writing. After reading it she insist he send it in to a magazine. And he didn’t let himself think about it too much. The magazine accepted it immediately and wanted to know if he got more. Sam wished he could talk to somebody about this. Somebody like Dean. He would have put Sam’s mind at ease, because it was scary presenting this stuff to the world. Nobody would know it was him of course, but he would know, and maybe someday he could own up to it. So he needed someone’s opinion on it. 

He called Jo one night. Listened to her ramble on about what went down in the pack. She sounded relaxed and happy. When he asked her about his writing, and if it was a good idea to try and sell it, she was all onboard. Sam counted on her to be honest, and he trusted her judgement. It didn’t mean he found it any less scary, but he got payed and even if it wasn’t much, he had to start somewhere, right?

“You’re pining after someone.” Ruby said as she gave him an ice cream cone. Sam didn’t bother denying it. He was feeling somewhere between excited and restless. The summer was coming to an end and he had to go back there. From what he was feeling now, he knew that the bond hadn’t disappeared. It was still there, unchanged and real. 

“What are you gonna do about it?” She then asked. Sam stared at her. 

“Not much to do.” He said. 

“That’s just bullshit. Of course there is something to do.”

“Oh yeah. Like what?” Sam was tired of this. He dreaded going back, facing Dean and knowing that the alpha didn’t think he was good enough. That he didn’t want him back. It hurt, deep inside somewhere Sam hadn’t known he could hurt. 

“Well, first you could give it a chance, make a move so to speak, be bold. Or, you could just avoid it altogether and never go back there.”

“That’s my two options?” Sam glared at her. 

“Of course not. You could go back there, hoping for a change or you know, go back there and pretend nothing’s bothering you. That’s what you’ve been working on here, right?”

Sam hated her a little bit in that moment. He hated that she could read him so easily, because it was damn hard to hold onto the belief that everything would work out. 

“You know what? I don’t like this one bit. If I’m going back there, I think you should come too.” He gave her a wicked grin and she sighed. 

“Come on. I’m not familiar with them.”

“Yeah, but you sure seem to think you know me.” 

Ruby shook her head, but there was a smile on her face. 

“I’ll think about it. But if I go, I want to make a deal with you regarding that crush of yours.”

Sam felt his stomach twist in excitement and dread. Ruby was a tough bargain, he knew that, but a part of him was getting reckless from all this hurting and longing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personally I am in need of some distraction. My work is taking a lot at the moment, and I just wished it didn't... So maybe this might help some, and I hope you like this. It's mostly about moving the plot forward for a bit, but yeah... Let me know, or just, you know, enjoy it and have a nice day <3


	8. Fighting for control

In all his life, Dean couldn’t remember being so anxious about an event in the pack. It was stupid and it made him grumpy. Because the summer had been long. After visiting a neighboring pack with Benny he had come home, and struggled to settle in.

Dean refused to think about the reason, so he went about his days. He pushed himself through a workout routine, he worked a bit on his car, and he even got time to look at lesson plans for the new semester.

With two days to go he was helping out at their summer house, preparing the area around, setting up a party tent, as the forecast talked about rain. Mary and a couple of others was inside, preparing some of the food and Dean tried not to listen to what they were talking about, but when the one name was mentioned his ears couldn’t help it.

“So you talked to Sam?”

“I did. And he asked to stay in my place for a few days.”

“That’s nice. Is he looking forward to coming home?”

“We’ll see. He’s not coming alone, though.” Ellen said and everyone in the kitchen turned to stare at her in surprise.

Dean felt like he just got punched in his gut. He hurried outside and started in on mundane work, but his mind was going a mile a minute. Sam had been gone for two months, and he was bringing someone back. Just before he left he had said that he… that he thought he wanted Dean.

Dean could barely keep it together. He wanted to hurl a chair across the lawn, preferably crashing into something breakable.

He blamed it all on Benny, really. After two days of Dean’s bad mood, while they were away, he’d had enough and demanded to know what was going on. And after a couple of beers and Benny refusing to let it go, Dean told him about Sam. About the kiss, and what happened after.

“I don’t see the problem, Dean. He is literally telling you he want to be with you, and you still doesn’t believe him?”

Dean had just shrugged it off. How could he know for sure anyway? Sam hadn’t even known, it seemed.

“You gotta know they all love you? Whichever one you had chosen, I’m sure every omega in our pack would have said yes.”

“Not everyone, Benny.”

Benny had sat back in his chair, watching Dean with surprise in his face.

“You still miss Lisa?”

“Of course not.”

“But she hurt you.” Benny stated and Dean could not deny that. She had, and ever since, he had a hard time letting people in.

“Sam is not like her.” Benny said. “He is crazy about you. I know, because I was there the first time he arrived at the summer house. He looked around until his eyes landed on you, and then he simply worked the room until he got to you.”

Dean shook his head, he wanted to believe what Benny said, but it sounded too farfetched.

“He might be, but how long will it last?”

Benny shook his head with a sad frown.

“And now he believes that I don’t think he’d good enough.” Dean finished quietly, only to earn a fierce look from Benny.

“You need to fix that, brother.”

 

Truth be told, Dean had realized that quite fast, that he needed to fix things. He had no idea how, but he knew he had to. Nobody deserved to live with the thought that someone didn’t think they were good enough.

Knowing that Sam would show up with someone by his side, Dean wasn’t sure what he could do. He was going to talk to him, that was sure, but it all depended on what this person was like.

If Dean had been in a twist about the event before, it was nothing compared to what it was now. He tried to portray a sort of calm, but he didn’t fool his closest family and friends.

Dean wanted to be calm, because with him this anxious, it meant that this whole thing meant more than he thought it did. Dean had known for a long time now how his life would be. He had worked hard on creating a life that he wanted, and he still did. This was his, and he had earned it, built it himself, and it was safe. He wasn’t prepared to let all of that go, even if he could feel tempted.

The jittering and sweating would pass. Sam would move on, or Dean would be used to having him there. And no matter what, Dean was going to talk to Sam, to tell him that he hadn’t meant to make him feel bad.

Dean was glad he knew about Sam arriving there with someone. That way he could prepare for it. Actually witnessing it, was worse than he expected. He made sure to be in the background, to be busy with something, but it didn’t matter. People were back form summer vacations, and there was a lot of familiar fresh faces to hug, but he recognized Sam’s scent immediately. When he turned around to take in Sam and the newcomer a growl almost slipped past his lips.

“Easy there, buddy.” Benny whispered on a laugh.

She was small and beautiful. The way she looked around at their pack, curious and open, was pleasant and the right amount of reserve, but Dean didn’t like her, and he didn’t trust her. When she faced Sam, glancing up at him, he gave her a smile of his own. Dean’s mind supplied him with the image of how Sam used to smile at him.

Dean didn’t expect Sam to seek him out, and it was no surprise when he had to watch the omega from a distance instead of talking to him. They might have been civil with each other the last time they spoke, but Dean knew Sam was hurt and he had been a mess himself.

When Dean finally found himself next to Sam and the tiny beta by his side, he was trying to keep a straight face. Because honestly, watching the way the two of them cling to each other, whisper to the other or just seeming to have to touch all the damn time was exhausting.

“Hi, Dean.” Sam said softly.

“Sam. Nice to see you again.”

The omega watched him cautiously before he turned to the woman by his side.

“This is Ruby. Ruby, this is Dean.” He watched them shake hands and Ruby smiled.

“Nice to meet you, Dean.” She said.

“What have you been up to?” Sam grabbed a plate and loaded it with greens and fruits while he kept an eye on Dean.

“Nothing much. I have been around here most of the time.”

“Yeah, it’s nice spending time with family.” Sam commented.

“Is it?” Dean couldn’t help but ask. He didn’t think Sam even liked his family, but there he was acting as if he never even said something bad about them. Sam met his eyes carefully, but he nodded.

“I think so. Why?”

“I just got the impression that you didn’t get along with yours.”

“Things change. Obviously.” Sam looked like he wanted to roll his eyes, and Dean stared annoyed at him. Ruby chose that moment to clear her voice and announce that she was going to raid the dessert side of the buffet. Then she was gone.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means just that. Sometimes things change.” Sam told him.

Dean felt anger starting to boil under the surface, but he took a deep breath.

“Fine. I’m sure you’re right.” Dean muttered, but that only earned him an angry glare.

“Now you’re just placating me, Dean. What’s your problem?” Sam demanded and Dean couldn’t help but feel a thrill run through him at that. From the day they met he had enjoyed the way Sam was so utterly omega in some ways. He was soft spoken and mild, he got along with almost everyone. Then on the other hand, he knew what he expected of people and he wasn’t afraid to tell them if he wanted to.

“What’s my problem? No, no. What’s your problem, Sammy?” Dean hissed and came closer. Sam didn’t back down, but a shudder went through him and his eyes widened slightly at the name. But he didn’t submit the way any other omega would have in the face of an angry alpha.

“Dean, honey. If you two need to talk some stuff through, then you better take it inside.” Mary’s voice sounded mild but strict. Dean knew she was right. They didn’t fight in front of the entire pack. This was between the two of them, only Dean wasn’t sure it was a good idea to be alone at the moment.

Sam watched him with challenge in his eyes, so Dean nudged him toward the house and the omega followed stiffly. Benny gave an amused little wink when Dean looked over at his friend for support.

Once they was safely inside, Sam rounded on him. His eyes glowing in anger and pent up emotions Dean recognized all too well.

“I don’t have a problem, Dean. But you clearly have, and I want to know what I have done this time.”

Dean rubbed a hand over his face in frustration.

“Right now? Well, I don’t understand why you suddenly has these warm feelings toward your family that you were so angry about earlier. And also, that beta out there? The way she is clinging to you, it seems a bit overdone.”

“What do you know? I was angry, but they are still my parents. What’s so wrong with that?” Sam asked.

“Nothing. It’s not wrong.”

“Then, why-?” Sam shook his head and started pacing the floor.

He came to a halt in front of a window and hitched himself up on the wide windowsill.

“Dean, I can’t… I can’t seem to please you. And I don’t want things to be difficult between us. If… if it makes you feel so bad, let’s just forget about everything that happened.”

Dean was standing in front of Sam before he even knew he moved.

“No. I don’t want that.” Dean swallowed and looked up at this beautiful man in front of him. His long hair had gotten a lot of sun during the summer, and the tips was a lighter brown. His face was tan and fresh, but those eyes looked so defeated.

“I don’t want to forget about it.”

“But you… you didn’t like it. Didn’t want – “ Sam stopped, but Dean knew what he was going to say. It broke his heart a little that he’d made Sam think he was anything but good and perfect.

“Sam it’s… it’s hard to explain.” Dean turned to face him and Sam reached out pulling him closer, and Dean let him.

“Try me.” Sam whispered.

Dean let out a long breath. He had no idea how to begin or what Sam wanted to hear, but he knew he needed him to understand.

“I never wanted you to feel like it was you. I’m not what you should want.”

“Why?”

Dean shook his head, and wanted to step back. Sam held onto him and instead Dean bowed his head quietly. Sam’s fingers were playing with a fold in Dean’s shirt, he kept touching and Dean was about to go crazy from being so close with the tension between them.

“No, Sam. I can’t do this. I told you this isn’t right.”

“Because you don’t want me.” Sam let go of Dean, and he felt cold immediately.

“That’s not what I meant. I’m old and grumpy. You should get back to your beta instead.” Dean took a step back, trying to distance himself from Sam. His long legs dangling over the edge of the sill, that slim and long body radiating anger and hurt.

“So you do want me, but nothing more?” Sam contemplated after a moment. Dean felt his stomach twist painfully.

“Sam, let’s not…” He shook his head, but the omega jumped down and closed the distance he’d made.

“How about this, then. I’m going into heat sometime next week. And since you _want_ me, why don’t you help me out?” Sam whispered suggestively with a hard edge. His body was close enough to touch, but Dean had frozen at Sam’s words and the omega hovered just there.

What had happened to Sam since he made a suggestion like that? The omega Dean got to know before all of this, was someone who was patient and also clever enough to avoid being this direct. It was distracting. And it didn’t feel real somehow. Oh, Dean wanted. He wanted so much, his alpha was almost beyond his control at this point, but he couldn’t do that to Sam.

“What about Ruby?” Dean sounded hoarse to his own ears, but that was the easiest place to start.

“What about her?” Sam asked with a little grin.

Dean stared at those lips for a long moment. It was a little scary, feeling how his alpha started to grow and fight to take control. He felt a warm glow inside, and slowly the rational part of himself gave place to a more primal part. He had never experienced that before, but ever since meeting Sam, the alpha in him had responded strongly to anything, and was always just below the surface.

Dean was losing now, and he didn’t even try to stop when he moved forward, right into Sam’s space. Dean backed him up against the wall, just like last time and he pushed his knee between Sam’s thighs. Feeling a rush as Sam easily made room for him. The omega stared with glazed over eyes and his breath came fast and shallow.

Having Sam like this felt amazing. So close and pliant. Responding to an alpha, just like an omega should. Dean had been miserable all summer, but it all faded away at the moment with Sam in his arms. Almost like the puzzle all of a sudden fell into place, making sense.

Dean leaned in to kiss him, and just like last time the kiss deepened fast. Sam let out a whine and Dean basked in it, reveled in the fact that he had done that. He had no idea for how long they made out. Both of them were panting, Sam’s hair a mess, and he could feel his own shirt bundled up on his back. Sam’s mouth was soft and wet, their tongues playing and teasing, and Dean just wanted more, more, more.

Trying and failing a few times, Dean forced some control over himself. He pulled back enough to look at Sam.

“This what you were after, huh?” Dean nuzzled behind his ear. He couldn’t seem to help it, and Sam rumbled in agreement. Easily letting his head roll to the side, giving him better access. Dean let out an involuntarily growl, feeling his teeth sharpen.

“Yeah? Tell me.” Dean demanded, feeling a little shaky. Sam whimpered and shuddered delicately.

“Dean, please. I know…uh.. I know you don’t… hm… Want me like that, but just… just for my heat, I need you.” Sam rasped. He sounded so broken. Dean’s heart froze.

“I don’t want you?” Dean couldn’t believe this. He wanted to pull back, but Sam was holding on to him.

“You said-“ Sam began, but Dean cut him off.

“What I said… Fuck, Sam, I wasn’t going to take advantage of you, and you take it the wrong way.”

“Oh really? The message was quite clear.” Sam pushed him off.

“What message? Sam, you’ve been mad at me ever since that day in my office.”

“No, you’ve been mad! You told me you regretted it, that I was not good enough.” Sam vibrated in anger and hurt.

“Sam, that’s…” Dean sighed.

“Don’t ‘Sam’ me. I know what happened, so I shouldn’t have pushed you like this.” He made a vague gesture around the room.

“What is it you think happened?” Dean growled low and dangerous.

“Dean, this is just… painful and bad. Let me go.” Sam said.

“Whatever it is you think you know, I’ll tell you, I am not exactly the mating type. I’m too old and too… I don’t know. Just, don’t think it’s because of you, Sam. You’re more than good enough. Probably too good for anyone who could get you.” Dean said in a hard tone. Sam stared at him, mouth open. He closed it a couple of times, trying to say something.

“But…”

“Sam, I’m sorry I hurt you. I don’t think it’s a good idea about your heat. I can’t do that to you.” Dean finished. His alpha was practically kicking and screaming at him for passing on a chance like this. If Sam was even serious about it. Dean knew that he would never recover from that. His alpha was already on edge around Sam, and to actually let him loose, in the best way possible, that would break Dean. Because he was starting to realize that it wasn’t just his alpha who was on edge around Sam. Dean’s heart was too.


	9. Weakness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're halfway through, guys!!   
>  This chapter moves quite fast, but bear with me, it will make sense eventually, hopefully <33
> 
> Hope you all have had a great easter !

Sam was mad at Dean, and he was mad at himself and he was so, so mad at Ruby. She was the reason he’d come on to Dean the way he did. And it had earned him a really, really great kiss, but he still had to walk away empty handed. He knew going in that mentioning his heat wasn’t the best idea, but his head was a mess around the alpha. The bond was still there, strong and clear as ever.

He’d made an effort to mingle with the pack afterwards. He might not intend to stay there for a very long time, but they had been there for him since the beginning, and he owed it to them to try. 

The next day, Sam got into a bad fight with Ruby. Because Sam was still mad at her, even if he realized that the stupid bond he had formed to Dean, was the sole reason he had for acting the way he had last night.

They screamed at each other until Ellen came knocking on his door, asking if it was safe for her to leave or if they were going to kill each other. 

Sam had yanked the door open and asked Ellen to take Ruby with her when she left. Ruby stared at him with a betrayed look on her face. 

“I need some time to think about this.” He informed her stiffly.

“Yeah, well don’t take too long, or I’ll go on my own.” She threatened.

“Maybe that’s what I want you to do.” Sam hissed before ushering her outside. Ellen gave him a look over the top of her head but Sam just shrugged uncomfortably, but smiled in a silent thanks.

Having Ruby in his life was like constantly playing a game of chess. She came into his life and his head had been tangled up an constantly trying to be on top of every situation. Sam couldn’t put a finger on what it was exactly, but she had a way of making things about her, and in her favor, while making it seem like she hadn’t done anything.

It had taken a while to realize that she was cunning, and Sam had no idea what she wanted to achieve. Instead he imagined he would be able to outsmart her anyway. Besides, she had started to feel a bit like a friend, and Sam desperately needed a friend. 

 

After a day in which Sam for the most part felt angry and rejected, Ellen talked to him and convinced him to stay there at least until his heat was over. 

So he did. He was comfortable there, and he needed that especially during those days of his heat. A secret part of him wished Dean would show up. He dreamed of the alpha, wondering what it would be like. Dean was big and real, patient and most likely experienced. He would know everything about giving Sam exactly what he needed and, how he needed. 

Dean didn’t come, and Sam told himself he wasn’t disappointed, because the alpha had said he wouldn’t. Once it had passed, though, Sam contacted Ruby, telling her he wanted to meet her and then they took off. 

They had talked about traveling. Take some time off after Sam’s graduation to look around, see the world, and visit other packs. Sam had never been anywhere in his life, other than moving two hours from his parents to college.   
Ruby was more used to it and she was fun to be with. She wanted to go see some people she hadn’t met in a while and Sam went with her. 

Sam kept writing, and sending in weekly notes to the biggest magazine for packs, called Alpha&Omega – truths, myths and everything in between. 

He still refused to give up his name, and Ruby said he was stupid, but he wasn’t ready. Instead he told her to mind her own business and let him take charge of his. And it worked. They worked. Ruby focused on their travels, she made arrangements, got them from place to place and Sam focused on his own work. 

A few towns away from home, Sam walked into a pharmacy, asking for suppressants. He couldn’t do it without anymore. He had no reason to suffer through his heats when all it did was remind him of Dean and how the alpha didn’t want him. 

Sam stayed in contact with Ellen and Jo, sometimes he talked to Bobby as well, but other than that he kept to their traveling and before he knew it two months had gone by. 

Going from place to place had been exhausting in the beginning, but at the end of the day, they relaxed in their room, talking about what they wanted to do next and ate great food. 

Sam learned a lot in every new place they arrived. He discovered that he was great at making small talk, and eventually getting people to talk to him. He encountered several omegas who was interested in what he did, and when he finally stumbled upon another Born Omega, he told Ruby they had to stay for a little longer. 

His name was Michael, and he was smooth as silk. A little terrifying really, but Sam felt an instant connection with the man. 

At first glance he never thought he was an omega, much less a Born Omega, then again, Sam wondered when he started to live by the rules of stereotypes. He himself, didn’t fit all the well either. But Michael was demanding and had such a strong aura, Sam almost buckled under his charm. 

Michael invited them to the pack he belonged to, meeting other people, almost always omegas. A few betas, but they always kept to themselves. Sam found it a little strange, but he was so pleased with the chance to talk to another Born Omega, he didn’t really notice. 

Before they knew it, they had been there for two whole weeks and Sam didn’t plan on leaving just yet. 

Ruby was happy too, as she knew these people. They didn’t have to stay in motel rooms anymore. Instead they got invited into the homes of this pack and Sam really enjoyed their hospitality. but by the end of the first week, she started to talk about moving on, to see some new places. 

Sam found himself opposite this man who was so sure of himself, so strong and clearly leading exactly the life he had decided he wanted. Sam wanted that, only, he knew he would never get what he really was desiring. 

Michael had invited him out to lunch and even how intimidating he was, Sam really wanted a chance to know more about him and their pack.

“Sam, are you enjoying your time here?” Michael asked while they waited for their food.

Sam smiled. 

“I am. We’re staying at a really nice family, and you have all been really welcoming.”

“We pride ourselves on that. Now, I know it’s a personal question, but may I ask what is holding you so back? You don’t seem like you are embracing the moment.”

Sam stared for a moment. Michael had a habit of coming on strong and he was good at making people talk. But it felt personal and a little scary how well he had read Sam’s behavior. 

“I… um… I am not sure I understand what you are talking about.”

Michael put his glass down and watched Sam. 

“I am not trying to criticize you. Since you got here I get the distinct feeling that you are trying to forget about something.”

Sam didn’t want to talk about it. Not really. Then again, Michael was a Born Omega too. He might know something. 

“Well, I’m not sure how to say this, but I met this… uh, alpha. And we connected, but it was merely friendly between us. Then when things started to get a little… serious, he backed down, and – well, I couldn’t.”

“Because you had already formed a bond, hadn’t you?” Michael asked sharply. 

“I did.” Sam whispered. “And I can’t… I still can’t get away.”

Michael acted interested, but his face was set in a serious frown. According to him, he hadn’t experienced it himself. He was careful. Sam bit the inside of his cheek, deciding not to comment on it. 

What Michael did know, was that a bond like that would take time to break, it would hurt, and maybe he would have to physically break all contact with the ‘offending’ alpha. To which Sam definitely wasn’t going to comment on. 

“I might be able to help.” Michael said after a while. Their food had arrived and both had been eating in silence. Sam glanced up at him. 

“I mean, I know you’re not interested in meeting someone new, but if you like, you could meet our Pack leader. Our Alpha.” Michael watched him intently and Sam swallowed hard. He didn’t know what to say. 

Instead he waited until he got Ruby alone. And asked her about the leader in this pack. 

“Why do you ask?” She shifted in her seat. 

“Because Michael offered to take me to him.”

“What? Why?”

Sam cleared his voice and stared at Ruby’s hectic eyes. She didn’t look pleased at all, yet there was a part of her that seemed to relax, and it made no sense to Sam. 

“Just… we talked a bit, and he knew I’ve bonded and he wanted to help.” Sam muttered. 

Ruby chewed the inside of her cheek. 

“Alright, listen. I will tell you this, then you can decide. I might be familiar with this pack, and they are nice enough people. The leader is the only alpha, and… all of the omegas are his.”

“What do you mean?” Sam’s head kept spinning. 

“What do you think, idiot! I mean, they are all mated to the one, same alpha in this pack.”

Sam stared at her, unable to form words. The sinking feeling he’d gotten earlier while speaking to Michael, settled and grew into a very uncomfortable heaviness.

 

Sam tried not thinking about this new information. He would have to get back to Michael at some point, and he started to see that Michael was right. He did feel terrible. His body felt weak in a way he didn’t recognize. Sam had always been in good shape, he took care for his body. Now it felt like he wasted away. There was a sadness inside and most mornings he felt so nauseous he had to lie in his bed until his stomach stopped turning and his head calmed. 

Michael sought him out the next day, and without knowing how it happened, Sam was led to a nice little office in the middle of the packland. When they entered, Sam wanted to turn and leave, Michael’s insisting hand on his pack didn’t let him. 

Alpha was everywhere. Strong and potent. Sam knew what kind of person he would meet once the door opened. His voice sounded cold and too sure of himself, and Sam just hoped he didn’t have to stay long. 

Sam thought he knew what he would see once the door opened, but he had no idea. The reaction reminded him of the one he got when he met Dean. A need to submit settling in his bones, he wanted it and he knew it would make his life so much easier to bend his knees or his will for this alpha. 

The man got up from his chair, smiling and taking him in with blue piercing eyes. He reached out and Sam took a while to register and grabbed the offered hand. 

“Who is this?” The alpha asked directed to Michael. He kept holding Sam’s hand in both of his. 

“It’s the Born Omega I told you about. His name is Sam. Sam this is our alpha, Luke.” Michael sounded mild and subdued. 

The alpha rounded the table, slowly. All the while holding Sam’s eyes with his. Now, Sam knew that an omega was supposed to submit, that he should look down to the floor, but he’d always been doing his own thing. Besides, he wasn’t comfortable letting this alpha get the upper hand just like that. And the alpha, or Luke, came to stand too close. Sam could even feel the warmth from his body and really sense his scent up close. It wasn’t all that bad actually, but the man himself didn’t give anything away, stoic and cool. Eventually his lips turned up into a grin and he slapped Sam’s shoulder. 

“You’ve got nerve. I like that.” He said.

Sam was asked to sit down in a chair and Luke was good at making conversation. They didn’t stray into anything out of the ordinary. It was simply people getting to know each other. And Sam relaxed a little. This man, this alpha, knew omegas, he understood them and appreciated them. And he happily showed it. When Sam walked out of there he was smiling.

 

When Ruby suggested they should start planning for their next town, Sam was ready, and he knew where he wanted to go. Where he needed to go.

They had been away for three months now and Sam had suddenly gotten a very tempting offer from the magazine he wrote for. He needed a second opinion. At least second to Ruby and his mother. He needed Dean’s opinion. Ruby called it permission, but it wasn’t. Sam just wanted to hear the alphas thoughts. That was it.

***

The moment Sam decided he would go back to his pack his body calmed a little. The pains in his chest and the nausea quieted a little. He still felt itchy and sad, but knowing he was headed home helped a great deal. 

His also felt like his mood improved greatly. Ruby wouldn’t go with him, but he told her that she should continue on her own. They might just benefit from going their separate ways. Sam was sure they started to go on each other’s nerves. 

Sam made arrangements to go back home. He said good bye to Luke and his group of omegas, then Ruby dropped him off on the bus station. 

He felt giddy and anxious, but in a good way. It was time for him to go back, and it was time for him to do it by himself. Meeting Dean again would be hard, but he also knew that he wanted the alpha in his life, one way or another. So to reach out, to make sure they could stay friends, was important to him. 

Sam knew that despite everything, Ellen wouldn’t throw him out, so he headed for her place first. It was late in the afternoon and she had just finished dinner. Jo sat in the living room studying, and a couple more familiar faces was spread out in her home. 

She gave him a hug and asked if he had somewhere to stay tonight. 

“I don’t want to be a bother, Ellen.” Sam said. 

“Honey, we might need to have a little talk, but you’re not a bother to me.” She said to him, so Sam thanked her for keeping him there and was grateful for the plate she loaded with her home cooked food. 

“First of all, I want to know what happened to that Ruby girl you ran away with.” Ellen said later that night. 

“I didn’t run away with her.” Sam furrowed his brow.

“Well, where is she now?”

“She wanted to keep traveling.”

“And you don’t?”

Sam looked at her, then at the others in the room. He cleared his voice, but talked quietly. 

“I’ve gotten a job offer.”

Ellen smiled. 

“That’s great, Sam.”

He knew she waited for him to go on so he took a deep breath. 

“It’s for a magazine. I write articles.” He said and he suddenly had all of their attention. 

Ellen was impressed and wanted him to tell them more about this job offer. And to his surprise, no one seemed to think it was a bad idea. Sam knew he wanted to, but a part of his mind thought about every reason this could be a bad idea. 

Still, it was a good thing to keep in the back of his mind when he made his way to Dean’s office the next day. He’d got down there during lunch break, and he prayed that Dean was in. 

Much like when he took the bus back to his pack land, he felt giddy and anxious. During his time away he imagined the scent bond had gotten weaker. He hadn’t been surrounded by the scent of Dean. He hadn’t talked to him and there was little to remind him of the alpha. 

Knocking on his door had Sam’s stomach in a twist, but he was determined to tough it out no matter what the situation called for. When Dean told him to come in, Sam carefully pushed the door open. 

Dean’s hair had grown longer. It was the first thing Sam noticed because it immediately made him look younger and a little more reckless. The second thing Sam noticed was that the bond was nowhere near to get weaker. If anything it slammed into him in full force now that he was in proximity to his alpha. And it made Sam’s knees wobble dangerously.

Dean’s eyes widened in surprise and he got up from his chair when he noticed who was at his door. For a moment it seemed like he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to come around his desk to hug him or keep his distance, then he smiled from where he was. 

“Sam. I didn’t know you were back in town.”

“I just got here last night.” Sam told him. 

“Wow, that’s a surprise. What’s it been? Three months.” 

Sam nodded. 

“May I come in?” He asked. 

“Of course. Yeah. Uh - Sit down.” Dean gestured toward the chairs and waited to sit down too. Sam was happy once his shaking legs could rest as he sat down. 

“So, what brings you here?”

Sam fidgeted a little, but decided to just cut to the case. 

“I wanted to ask your opinion on something.” 

“Okay?” Dean said with his professor look and Sam bit the inside of his cheek for how endearing he looked. 

Sam pulled out the latest copy of the magazine he wrote for. Dean furrowed his brows as he took in the copy of Alpha&Omega – truths, myths and everything in between.

“Why are you giving me this?” Dean asked. 

“Uh, it’s… I wanted you to read something, and then tell me what you think.” 

Sam reached out and flipped through the pages until he found what he was looking for. It was only half a page, nothing much. But apparently it was enough for the editor, or he wouldn’t have been offered his very own column.  
Dean pointed at the article and raised a questioning eyebrow at Sam. 

“Just… if you’ve got time. I could come back later if that’s better.” Sam said quietly. 

This whole thing was in stark contrast to the last time they interacted. The tension was still there, but it felt safer now. Like they could manage a real conversation. 

“No, it’s alright.” Dean said softly. 

So Sam watched him read his words, and since Dean was looking at the page in front of him, Sam took the opportunity to admire the alpha. 

He had strong shoulders, a barely there stubble on his cheeks and a splatter of freckles across his nose which Sam wanted to trace with a finger. Long dark lashes almost cast a shadow onto Dean’s cheeks and Sam just whished he was allowed to explore. His heart beat harder and heavier. It was a relief to see Dean and be close to him, but it brought with it a heaviness. One that Sam started to realize more and more he would just have to learn how to live with.


	10. Need you in my life

Dean was scrambling for some sense of control. His day had been just like any other, and suddenly Sam was there across from his desk. The omega had taken him by surprise and he realized it was because he was on suppressants. If he hadn’t, then Dean would have sensed him before, or stronger at least. It bothered him more than Dean was ready to admit. The alpha in him wanting to demand he get off those blasted pills. Instead he stared at the text in front of him.

Dean had read this before. He bought this magazine regularly and these words looked familiar. But he read it anyway, taking the time to focus and force his beating heart under control.

He really had believed that after getting past the fact that Sam and him couldn’t seem to keep a friendship or any form of casual contact between them, he didn’t get affected that badly. Now, with the omega there, he knew deep down that if he wanted to have him in his life, he would just have to live with the tension and the occasional slip up. That’s how they worked, and Dean would take it.

So he read the words. It was a short article about Born Omegas, and how they felt different and out of their depth, but also at peace once they got connected to a pack.

“ _A pack is a family, but it is so much more than that, because they know. They know what it’s like to be an omega, or an alpha, and they will understand and take you in with open arms._  
_Then again. A family is also a pack. I grew up with two older siblings, I have a mother and a father, and they support and care for the ones in their family. And to me that’s what a pack and family is all about._  
_The thing about being part of a family who supports and cares for you is that we stay connected because we are related. Once I found my pack, I had to live with new people, who didn’t know what I was like when I was a child, or what my favorite foods were or my fears or my dreams. We learned, of course we did, we stayed together, an omega needs a pack, but it was a challenge and a transition so very overwhelming._

_That’s okay, I learned, but to me I had to remind myself, that it’s okay to feel like it was too much at once, and it’s okay for me to bring some of ME into this new pack, because we are who we are because of our families and our packs. We owe it to ourselves and to our pack to take what is offered and give back what we can.”_

Dean looked up only to meet eager and nervous eyes watching him intently. Sam was sitting on the edge of his chair in a very uncharacteristic way for him.

“Is there a reason you wanted me to read this?” Dean asked softly after a pause.

“What do you think of it?” Sam leaned forward with one elbow in the desk. But he soon sat back, trying to feign a form of calm. Dean took a deep breath, sensing this meant something for Sam.

“I read this when this issue came out. Do you feel like this about the pack transition?”

Sam nodded.

“I do.”

“But, what do you think?” Sam’s eyes watched him and he looked so young all of a sudden.

“Since I’m not a Born Omega, I grew up in this pack, I can’t say it’s very familiar to me. But I was born into a family too, and to have a special bond with them is only natural.”

“I… Uh, I wrote this.” Sam said. Dean suddenly understood why Sam acted to nervous.

“Really? You’re the one who’s been writing these anonymous letters?”

In a rush Sam told him about how he took a chance during the summer and had earned some money writing for the magazine ever since.

“And now they want to hire me permanently. With my name on it.” Sam added.

Dean couldn’t help but smile.

“That’s a very nice offer.” Dean said and Sam smiled shyly. Dean swallowed, the display of a rarely seen soft side from the omega, was too endearing for his senses right now.

“You think so? I mean, everyone would know it’s me.” Sam looked anxious, almost like a student concerned about their essay, and Dean leaned forward.

“I do think so. People will know, but why does that bother you?”

“What if they don’t like what I write?” He sighed.

Dean wondered where that came from. In his mind, this omega was sure of himself, and not afraid to speak his mind. He even seemed to enjoy riling people up just to spite them. Or did Sam just do that to him?

“Don’t you think that the people around you would be proud of what you’re doing?” Dean asked.

Sam nodded slowly, not looking very certain at all.

“You don’t have to answer tomorrow, right? So why don’t you go meet them to see what they are like?”

Sam watched him for a long moment. Dean wished he knew what he was thinking and why he acted like he did.

“You mean, go to their offices?” Sam bit the inside of his cheek, looking all kinds of young.

Dean nodded as he rubbed a hand across his mouth. Dean would be lying if he said he hadn’t been doing some thinking. Ever since Sam entered their pack, Dean’s life had been a constant rollercoaster. Nothing felt the same and he had lost control of his instinct more than once around the omega.

So eventually he had come to the conclusion that perhaps there was something going on. Perhaps they had a connection, and Dean knew he enjoyed the company. He might not admit it just yet, but he wasn’t so stuck he couldn’t admit to the fact that he was drawn in by Sam, in every way.

To actually do something about it, was a big step for Dean, and he didn’t plan on it either. He still believed that they weren’t the best fit. Sam was young and real. He was a Born Omega with everything that entailed. Being born outside a pack made you special, wanted. Sam could have anyone and Dean had a hard time believing that Sam would choose him.

“But that’s like an hour by plane or hours of driving.” Sam looked surprisingly defeated by that prospect.

“I know. It’s just a suggestion. That way you’ll get a chance to feel it out. Are they paying you?”

“Yes, the pay is crazy good. I mean, I feel like an idiot for not jumping on it. I have to put my name on it, and I’m not sure what that might mean.” Sam finished. He looked a little pale suddenly.

“Afraid I don’t know that any more than you do. If you want to do this, to share and care for people, then I think it’s a great sell to have a real name and face to it.” Dean said.

They talked and for a while, it reminded Dean of how things had been before their first kiss. The easy conversation, the smiles and slowly Dean started to feel warm again. It was almost like he had been feeling off for a long time, without realizing it.

“Thank you, Dean, for taking time to talk to me. I’ll… probably go talk to them in person.” He said slowly and Dean wanted to ask him to wait, to not leave when he just got back, but he knew he had no right. Sam was young, he wanted to make a life for himself, and Dean couldn’t ask him to give that up simply because he missed him.

Sam got up, looking a little unsteady, but he smiled and thanked Dean again. Then he moved to the door.

“See you later, then.” He said softly before he disappeared.

Dean stared at the door for a moment, and he was just about to walk around his desk when the door opened again and Charlie rushed inside.

“What happened?” She asked in an urgent tone.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, something must have gone down in here. I come from the copy room and suddenly there is Sam stumbling down the hall, supporting his weight on the walls, barely keeping it together.”

“What?” Dean practically ran to the door and ripped it open, but of course Sam wasn’t there anymore.

“Did you talk to him?” He stared at Charlie.

“Not so much. He asked me to stay away.” She said.

Dean shook his head in disbelief.

“I can’t believe you let him get away!”

“He glared daggers at me. If I had gotten any closer, then he would have bit my head off!” She insisted.

Dean felt his heart beat almost out of control. Sam had been alright in there. A little pale perhaps, and he seemed a little weaker than usual, but nothing too major. If something was wrong, then why hadn’t he said so? Instead he would be going away from everyone he knew because Dean advised him to.

Unfortunately, Dean had classes to get to. The rest of the day went by so slowly he could have sworn it was doing it on purpose. Dean rushed to his office, picking up his phone to call up Sam.

He answered on the fifth ring, sounding like he’d been asleep.

“Hi, Sam. I just… Uh, Charlie said she ran into you not looking all that well. I wanted to check in if you’re alright.” Dean said.

“Oh, yeah, I… I just forgot to eat, and was a little dizzy after getting up from the chair earlier. I’m fine.” Sam sounded like he was smiling, but Dean wasn’t sure he believed him.

“Well… If you’re sure…”

“Yes, Thank you, Dean. It’s nice of you to check in on me, but after I got something to eat, I was back on track.”

“That’s good then.” Dean told him.

Sam murmured a good bye so soft Dean felt his heart clench, and when they hung up he stared at the phone for a long moment.

 

It was a few days before Dean heard from the omega again. He was home for the day, sitting by his kitchen table, grading papers. His phone rang and to his surprise Sam’s name showed on the display.

“Sam.” Den answered with a smile.

“Hi, Dean. Is it okay that I’m calling you?” He sounded almost nervous.

“Of course. I’m glad you called. How are you doing?” Dean stopped himself from rambling on.

“Well, I’m good. I have a temporary office here so that I can get into things. They even got a hotel room for me, while I’m here.” Sam sounded surprised.

“That’s nice. Do you like it then?”

Dean listened to Sam talk about the people he met, the office and his work. Apparently he was going to answer questions on life and everything omega. Sam didn’t really know why he got the job, but Dean knew. Sam wasn’t like anyone else. He spoke his mind, and he actually had a lot of insight, because he was good at listening.

“I did as you asked, and told them to make a contract before we begun. I… wondered if you had the time to read it through. I’m just so new to this, I’m not sure I’d know if anything is left out.”

“Sure, yeah. You could send it over and I’ll have a look. Is there anything you’d like added to the contract?”

“Not really, but if there is anything there preventing me from working wherever I like, I want that out. Because if nothing changes, then I’d like to move back when things settle a bit.” Sam told him timidly and Dean’s heart soared at the sound of those words. It might be stupid, but Dean had been afraid that this job would lead to losing Sam entirely, and he couldn’t have that.

“Thank you, Dean.”

 

Dean went on with his days. He looked over the contract which was very decent. Work was slower than usual, but he kept up with it and he made an effort to see his friends. For every time Sam came home for a moment, Dean felt like he had to get used to being alone again. It was stupid and made no sense, because he wasn’t really with Sam anyway. And whenever Sam was home it wasn’t like they were together all the time either.

They stayed in touch though. Sam would call or text about little things here and there. They got into the habit of talking on the phone a couple of nights a week and Dean enjoyed their banter.

Dean still went to work at the academy, he talked to his students and had lunch with Charlie. Sometimes he headed to his parents for dinner, and that’s how his life had been for years. It was familiar to him, it was exactly what he had thought it would be after his failed relationship with Lisa, and he was happy with it.

Charlie insisted that happiness had nothing to do with his life. He might not be miserable, but he definitely wasn’t happy. Dean chose not to comment on it because, what did she even know about how he liked his life.

 

Two months after Sam left he had the boy on the phone late one night. Music played loudly in the background, people were laughing and yelling, it was clearly a party going on.

“Dean!”

“Sam, why are you calling me at a party?” He tried to force down the part of him that felt old and bitter. There he was sitting in his apartment, by himself, while Sam was living life to the fullest.

“I know, I know… I just, I needed to tell you, but I didn’t get a chance. Ruby showed up, and she brought Michael, so this is the first moments I have to myself today.”

Dean’s head was spinning from all this information but he knew how Sam rambled on when he had been drinking. It didn’t help in the slightest to be reminded of Sam’s chipper mood when he had a few drinks.

“And…?” He prodded when Sam seemed distracted for a long moment.

“Oh, yeah, we’re celebrating.”

“Celebrating what?”

“Well, the next issue of A&O will have a whole article on me. I’m not the one who wanted to celebrate, but I definitely needed a drink.” Sam giggled.

“I was at a photoshoot, can you imagine?” He huffed.

“I’m gonna send it to you in the morning. Michael is waving at me. Talk to you later, Dean.”

Then he hung up.

“Yeah, good talk.” Dean shook his head, and even if he tried to ignore it, he was left feeling itchy and a little annoyed.

The next morning, though, his inbox signaled a new message. Dean was still in bed, it was Saturday and he had no real plans. It was colder outside by now and he expected the first snow to fall sometime soon.

When he opened his mail, Sam had sent him an e-mail with something attached to it. And when Dean opened the file he was glad he hadn’t gotten up yet.

There on his phone was a series of photos. Sam was wearing a plain black t-shirt pulled tight around his lean body. A pair of low hanging jeans framing a slim waist and long legs. Dean stared for a long time at the smiling face. Wide lips and dimples so deep in his cheeks, it gave him that innocent adorable look. And his beautiful eyes crinkled delicately, almost like a puppy. Sam might not come across as a typical omega, with his size and forwardness, but with a smile like that, nobody would be in doubt. Everyone would want to be part of his life after seeing this. And Dean knew that Sam’s life was about to take a turn for something bigger.

“I’m so screwed.” Dean whispered and closed his eyes with a sigh.


	11. In this new world by myself

Sam’s life had taken a turn he never imagined for himself. He would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it, but it never was part of his plan. 

He’d walked to Dean’s office that day to make him read what he’d written, and nothing had been the same ever since. They had talked for a long while. Sam had pretended his bond didn’t hurt, or that he felt anything, but once he got up, he barely made it out of Dean’s office before his legs almost gave out. 

Sam felt the same as he did before. When he sat down thinking about it the silent thud of something unfulfilled pulsed inside. His body felt weak sometimes, but a some of the time, things felt calmer, like he would be okay eventually. 

During these four months Sam had made an effort to stay in touch with Dean and eventually the alpha started to respond and even be the first one to make contact. Things was better between them, and Sam would take anything he could get. 

After the profile on him in the magazine, the amount of readers and questions to his column had escalated really fast. 

Sam no longer lived in a hotel, instead he rented a place closer to the office and he worked long days for a lot of money. He even had people stopping him in the streets, wanting to talk to him, or tell him they liked his work. If he was being honest, it might get to his head a little. 

Ruby came by regularly, as did Michael. Sam wasn’t sure when the two of them started to hang out, but he didn’t ask. The other Born Omega still had a sharp tongue, but he was someone Sam grew to like. They went out together, and Sam often woke up in the mornings with all three of them in his bed. 

He wasn’t clear on how they became such a close group, but he didn’t mind. Not really. Ruby would stumble inside, raid his fridge, and go to sleep. Michael wanted to keep dancing, Sam was certain that if he had the chance he would never ever sleep. It was fun, and it was simple. Michael looked great and they had this thing between them where they would share a beer after getting in, listen to music, and Michael often danced. Then he danced with less clothes on, and it was convenient, and the first time Michael sunk to his knees between Sam’s spread thighs, Sam almost panicked. 

“Hey, hey, relax. You deserve someone to take care of you, and I want to.” Michael insisted.

So Sam let his head fall back onto the couch and he let Michael do what he wanted. After that time, they started sharing intimate moments. Sam knew Michael was right, he did deserve someone, but he wasn’t about to let an alpha get that close. Sam had never gone to bed with an alpha, suppressants or no suppressants. It didn’t feel right at all. At least that’s what he thought until Luke showed up. 

Michael kept visiting regularly. Sometimes he came alone, other times with Ruby. The first time Sam mentioned he thought about finding a place back home, Michael showed up with Luke in tow.

A few weeks later Michael suddenly showed up mid-week. He said he had errands so Sam tagged along around town. He visited a pharmacy and joined Michael at a small café for coffee and a muffin. Michael glanced at his paper bag and asked if he still used his suppressants. They didn’t talk about that stuff usually. Sam didn’t like to think about it too much. He shrugged. 

“It’s convenient.”

“Why? I mean, I know the heat can be rough, but we all know these pills aren’t all that good for you either.” Michael sounded displeased. 

Sam bit the inside of his cheek.

“I got into the habit, that’s all.”

“Well, then get out of it.”

“What for? It’s not like life would be so much easier without them.” Sam rolled his eyes. 

“It’s not going to be that much worse either, Sam.” Michael informed him. 

They didn’t discuss it anymore, but Sam couldn’t stop thinking about it. So eventually he decided he should go off them for a while. It couldn’t hurt, right? His body would most likely benefit from it, even if he had to suffer through his heats, being reminded how Dean didn’t want him.

 

Sam talked regularly with Dean, but he never told him about Michael in detail. Instead they talked mostly about the pack and what went on at home. It was nearing winter and Sam started to feel the pull to head home to his family and friends. His life was busy and full, things happened all the time and Sam rarely had the time to sit down by himself.

Sam liked having people around him but it was starting to wear him down. That’s why he had talked to Michael about finding his own place back home. Michael might have been there more, saying he wanted to make sure he didn’t feel lonely. Ruby also came by a couple of times, and Luke was around more too. 

Sam still didn’t feel entirely sure around the alpha. He was strong and dominant, but even if he was pleasant, there was something about him that made Sam hold back. With the knowledge that this alpha was the only alpha in a pack full of omegas was rubbing Sam the wrong way. He just didn’t understand it. It was getting easier to be around him, Sam had to admit that, and he no longer felt a pang of unease whenever Luke showed up. 

Since Michael insisted on being around so much because he thought Sam felt lonely, Sam didn’t have the heart to tell him when he started looking for places to move back home. Instead he talked to Jo who had a couple of places in mind. She promised to come visit once she had taken a look at the places. 

In the meantime, Sam really grew into loving his job. He had the freedom to work from wherever he wanted, he got to choose amongst the questions he got asked, and as long as he kept to the deadline, his boss had faith in his decisions. 

Sam had started out with the easiest questions. Those about Born Omegas and how they grew up and where they came from. He took most of that from research and some of it from himself or other Born Omegas he’d talked to. Then he would answer things about stereotype and assumptions, a true or false so to speak. And then he delved into the love questions. He couldn’t get out of them no matter how hard he tried. That was about seventy percent of what was asked, so people clearly wanted to know his opinion on the case. 

He felt out of his depth, but he also knew what he felt deep down. He never mentioned the bond, and he never would, but there were other things he could talk about. 

And for each question he answered his e-mail filled up with new asks or simply messages to let him know people loved his column. 

 

Sam was going to miss Christmas in his pack. He couldn’t get out of a series of work related events and this being his first year in the magazine, Sam didn’t want to complain. 

Instead he settled for work and knew that he would get his chance to go see his pack once the New Year had passed. 

 

Jo showed up on his door one morning, and the downer was that Michael was the one to let her in. Sam was in the shower, he hadn’t even heard the doorbell so when he padded out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waist, Jo was sitting in the kitchen staring at Michael. 

“God, Jo!” Sam gasped and hurriedly backed out of the room. He didn’t know why he felt guilty, but his heart kept beating loud and hard in his chest. He got a sinking feeling deep in his gut, but he forced himself to dress and appear decent. 

Michael seemed to enjoy the entire thing as he smirked knowingly when Sam showed up again wearing jeans and a t-shirt. There was no denying what Michael was doing there, his own hair still wet from his shower and his familiarity in Sam's kitchen told the story perfectly well. Only, there wasn’t anything real between them. Other than convenience. 

Jo seemed at a loss, but Sam gave her a meaningful look and shook his head slowly. He didn’t want to talk about it in front of Michael, so instead he fixed breakfast and asked Michael if he minded that he showed Jo around town. 

“I’m heading home anyway. See you later, Sam.” 

Once he left, Jo got up from her chair and started pacing. 

“You’re dating someone?” She asked. 

“Not really.”

“Care to explain? Last thing I remember was the look on your face after your fight with Dean. So tell me, are you suddenly over him?”

“What?” Jo had never mentioned Dean like that before, and Sam had hoped no one knew how he felt. 

“Do you think I’m an idiot, Sam? I’ve known since the day in our kitchen how you feel about Dean.”

Sam felt his face heat up and he grabbed his plate and placed it in the sink with a loud bang. When he turned to face Jo he had more control over his expression. 

“Then you also know how he feel about me, so what’s the point.”

Jo shook her head. 

“You don’t know anything, Sam. Have you even talked to Dean since you ran off?”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Dean’s the one who suggested I go here in the first place!”

“Whatever. I promised myself I wouldn’t get in the middle of this. Take a look at what I brought you instead.” She threw a thick folder onto the counter and Sam let it go, because he wasn’t in the mood to talk about Dean. 

Jo had indeed found something of interest. There were three available places for Sam to choose between and from what Jo told him about them, any one of them would suffice. More than enough according to her. 

She acted clipped and mad around Sam, but he let her. He knew that Jo loved Dean like a brother and that she was protective of him. Sam had no idea why she insinuated some kind of wrong doing on his part, but he wasn’t about to ask her. 

Instead they tried spending the day and when she left she asked him to consider leaving Michael behind when he came to live back home. Sam would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about talking to Michael somehow, but he liked the guy and didn’t want to lose him as a friend. 

***

Sam was drunk. Too drunk. He realized that too late and now he was on the verge of becoming a sobbing mess. The party was loud and chaotic. He had arrived there with Michael, but the other omega was nowhere to be found. 

Drinking for hours on end was never a good idea in Sam’s opinion. And he blamed the lack of suppressants that he reacted so strongly to everything at the moment. He needed to find a chair to sit on for a bit, and perhaps he’d manage to get up and find Michael at some point. Right now, though he just needed to sit down.

He made it to the bar and he ignored every protest to the way he elbowed his way to a chair. It was either that or he would fall down and most likely throw up on someone’s feet. Sam couldn’t remember the last time he lost control like this, and he hated every second of it. 

Hair tickled his nose and he pushed it back with one hand. He closed his eyes and felt relief at shutting out one of his senses. His ears still buzzed from all the sounds, but he managed to block some of it out. 

Someone placed a hand on his back and Sam wanted to shake it off, but then a familiar voice talked closely in his ear. 

“Sam, are you alright?”

His mind supplied him with one word: Alpha. 

It meant someone capable, familiar and at the moment, all he really needed was for someone to just tell him what the hell he should do. 

Luke sank down on the stool next to Sam’s. He was close, and he was the only thing that made sense. 

“I’m drunk.” Sam leaned closer.

“I can see that. What happened?”

Sam shook his head, fighting off a wave of nausea. Luke leaned in. 

“I can’t find Michael. He disappeared and I can’t find him anymore.” Even his voice sounded different. Sam tried to get up, but Luke held him in place. 

“You need to take some time, Sam.” The alpha offered him a bottle of clear water.

“Thanks.” Sam rasped and Luke muttered a soft ‘don’t mention it.’

Luke kept a warm hand close to Sam’s neck. It made a soft prickle of senses rush through his system. Every omega was super sensitive around their necks. Sam found himself leaning into the touch and Luke added pressure. 

Sam hummed and sagged closer. Another one of Luke’s arms came up to support him and without realizing, Sam rested in the alpha’s embrace. 

He’d gotten up from his chair and stood between those spread thighs, pressed tightly to his front. Sam closed his eyes and leaned heavily against him. The scent surrounding the man was powerful and tempting at the moment. Strong hands held him in place and Sam found himself bending his neck to scent him.

For a long while he stood there trying to get his bearings, the scent of the alpha helped. Luke eventually guided him out of the club and into a cab. The alpha rode with him, and once Sam’s head cleared a little he started to feel anxious about the fact. What if Luke read something into the thing they shared at the club? Sam didn’t comment on it and when the alpha payed the driver and got out with him he wasn’t sure what to think. 

Outside his door, Luke stopped and turned to face Sam. 

“Listen, I’ll tell Michael you got home safely.”

Sam nodded a little numb. When Luke stepped closer he both wanted to put some distance between them, but then he also wanted nothing more than for the alpha to hold him again. 

Luke carefully lowered his head to the crook of Sam’s neck. Sam subtly tipped his head to the side to give him access. The alpha let out a possessive growl and Sam swayed toward him. Luke nuzzled his neck delicately. Slowly making his way from his collarbone to his ear. His breathing coming faster and Sam almost let out a long whine. 

At the same time he caught up to what he was doing and he took one unsteady step back. Luke grabbed his arms, and Sam felt his chest go cold in fear. He had nothing, nothing to put up against this alpha and they both knew it. With wide eyes he sent a glance up to look at him and Luke gave a soft smile. 

“You should go inside. Good night, Sam.” Luke said hoarsely and it sent a chill down Sam’s spine. The alpha clearly worked to restrain himself, but he deserved points for doing just that. Sam fumbled with the lock, but he soon staggered inside and locked the door. He was feeling lost and miserable. As he headed for the bathroom, Sam knew for a fact that if he had been at home with his pack, the people around him wouldn’t have let him get this drunk at all.


	12. Missing out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short somewhat ansgsty one for you guys on this monday <3

Dean was just about to head out to meet Benny and his mate for coffee when his phone chimed and Sam’s name blinked on the screen. He contemplated letting it go to voice mail, but who was he kidding. Dean was unable to say no to the omega. 

“Hello, Sam.” Dean grabbed his jacket, but stopped short when he heard Sam’s quiet voice. 

“Dean.” He didn’t say anything else and Dean had to tell himself not to panic. 

“Sam? Are you alright?”

“I think so.”

“What do you mean, you think so?” Dean pressed and started pacing in the hallway. 

“I’m… fine I guess. Just… probably not sober yet, and my head is about to explode. I feel terrible.”

Dean rubbed a hand across his face. He would never tell him, but Dean hated to think about Sam going out, drinking and dancing for all the people to see. 

Sam rambled on slower than usual. He was out of it, and it sounded bad. Dean actually felt a little concerned. 

“Listen, Sam, are you alone?”

“Yes.”

“In your own place?”

“I’m in my bed.” Sam said and Dean was not sure he could handle that information. Sam was in his bed, and his first thought was to call up Dean. It did something to the alpha and he was not about to go further into it, but it was there. 

He would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about Sam a lot over the last couple of months. They seemed to have gotten closer after Sam moved, and it was paining him to realize how much he missed out on. 

Because Dean had come to the conclusion that he did in fact want to be part of Sam’s life. He might not go and admit to it yet, or think he deserved something more than what they had, but it was there. Sam was the perfect omega and Dean could say that in the privacy of his own mind, because he missed the guy and times like this one, made him think that maybe Sam missed him too. 

 

Ever since that time Sam told him about the article and the photoshoot, Dean had been very meticulous when reading the magazine. Sam had his regular column, which was very popular. Dean was proud of Sam, and when he heard students in his classes talk about it he couldn’t help but listen in. 

Sam was getting popular, in a way bordering on fame. He could walk down the street without being stopped all the time, but a lot of the people knew of him, and Dean knew that Sam enjoyed it. He deserved it too, but it just added fuel to Dean’s belief that the omega could do so much better than the old alpha he was. 

None of that mattered now. Sam was on the phone, hurting and miserable. A part of Dean wanted to tell him to suck it up, but he also wanted to be able to soothe the omega. 

“I’m tired of this, Dean.” Sam said quietly.

“What do you mean?”

“I never imagined that this job would do this to me. So many people, all of them chatting away like they know me. But they don’t, Dean. Nobody knows me, not even Michael.”

“Who is Michael?”

Sam let out a long sigh.

“It’s another Born Omega I met while traveling with Ruby. We’ve been… doing this thing… sort of… I don’t know. Dean, that’s just it. I don’t know anything.”

It didn’t make sense, and Dean felt cold to the core. This Michael was clearly someone Sam had been going out with and probably more than that. Dean knew that it was normal for omegas to hang out, support and get it on with each other. Especially since both needed relief during heats. Dean wished he didn’t have to know that Sam did that. 

“Sam. Listen to me. You should get some more sleep, then we’ll talk more later, alright? Go, drink some water and try to eat something. Sleep more and then you can call me up.”

Sam let out a pitiful sigh that went straight for Dean’s heart, but he knew Sam just needed time to get out of his head a little. 

“Promise I’ll be there to talk more later.”

“Alright, love you.” It was so quiet Dean wasn’t sure he heard correctly. Dean’s heart raced in his chest and even if Sam hung up immediately after Dean still clung to the phone with sweaty palms. 

 

Dean wasn’t sure how he made it through the day. Benny asked him what was going on, but Dean couldn’t tell him. He wanted to keep this to himself, and he wanted to know if Sam even knew he said it out loud. It was all he could think about. 

Later when Sam called him up, he sounded more like himself and he talked as if nothing was out of the ordinary. 

Dean’s world had suddenly shifted and Sam didn’t even know. 

“Dean? Are you there?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just got a little distracted. What did you say?”

“Well, I talked to Jo a while back and I think I’ve found a place back home.”

“Really?”

“Finally. Like I said, I want to come home.”

Sam told him more about the place. The paperwork was already in process and by mid-January, he would be back home. Dean could barely believe it. A couple of weeks, and Sam would be back home. He felt lighter immediately.

“I’m looking forward to it.” Dean smiled and Sam sounded pleased too. 

“What happened last night?” Dean eventually asked. 

The quiet dragged out for a long time and in the time a rush of worst case scenarios ran through Dean’s mind. 

“I… was too drunk, and I lost control.” Sam sounded defeated. 

“And I realized that had this been a party back home, people would have stopped it before it got that far.”

“Did something happen?” Dean barely dared to ask, but he also felt like he needed to. 

“It was nothing, I got home safely.” Sam ensured elusively. It did nothing to cool Dean’s racing mind. With effort he let it go, and instead he asked him more about getting back home to his pack. 

 

Dean was anxious for the weeks to pass. Bobby was pleased to get their Born Omega back home, and Mary kept sending him curious glances. Dean decided not to go into that in case he wasn’t ready to answer her. 

One day Charlie came into his office with rosy cheeks and a wide grin. 

“Did you meet real life Hermoine or what’s up with you?” Dean huffed. 

Charlie slipped down into a chair and sighed happily. 

“You know the girl I told you about?”

“Gilda? Sure.”

“Well, I went to meet her family over the weekend.”

Dean watched her with a growing smile. Charlie had been anxious about this girl because she seemed more like a drifter than someone who settled for something more serious. Meeting the family had to mean something, didn’t it?

“How did it go?”

“They are some special, beautiful people up there, I’ll tell you.” She said with a bit of an eye roll. 

“But yeah, we kind of talked about going to my pack as well and later decide where we want to stay. I mean, we’re actually going to look at places to live. Can you believe it, Dean?” She smiled brightly and everything about her screamed happiness. 

Dean wanted nothing more for her than to be happy with who she was with and where they went.

“I mean, it’s a big step, I know that. We’ll have to talk it though properly, but both of us want this, so I know we can figure it out. If I have to give up living here with you guys, then that’s what I’ll do.” She sounded so sure that she wanted to do that for her. 

Dean walked around the desk to pull her into a tight hug. 

“I’m very happy for you, Charlie.” He kissed the top of her head before letting her go. 

 

After Charlie left his office, Dean stared at the door for a long time. The thought about taking that leap of faith rolling around his head, making it hard for him to breathe all of a sudden. Charlie hadn’t just come there to tell him the news. She wanted reassurance. Because when things mattered, it was terrifying, but she would still go for it with all that she had. 

Suddenly sitting there on his ass doing nothing felt wrong. The feeling of suddenly waking up and realize that he’d been handling his life all wrong. Who was he kidding? Dean wasn’t happy. Far from it. He missed out on life, that’s what he did. 

Sweaty palms and a rushed breath made Dean feel dizzy with how clearly he suddenly saw everything. He needed to talk to Sam, and he needed to do it right. 

Driving home from work, Dean prepared a whole speech. He shook his head. No, he didn’t need a speech. He just needed to come across as sincere. After all this time where Dean just pushed him away, there was a good chance Sam didn’t want or dare to believe that he changed his mind. 

Dean was so caught up in his thoughts about Sam he barely saw where he was driving. When a car came out of nowhere, he didn’t stand a chance as it crashed into him without warning. Sending Dean’s car toppling around like a toy. Dean felt only pain as the car spun around with a sickening metallic sound, and eventually stopped, lying on the side. Dean imagined Sam’s beautiful face and how he might never get a chance to tell him. And then everything went dark.


	13. Bonded

Sam hadn’t been able to function for two days. When the first call came from Jo that Dean had been in a car accident, Sam almost passed out from fear. Apparently he was at the hospital and taken care of, but he wasn’t awake yet and they couldn’t tell how bad it was. 

Everyone was shook, but Sam had no idea what to do with himself. In a rush he had started to pack his place. He was leaving and he was not going to come back there. He didn’t have much since his plan all along had been to move, but what little he owned took a while to pack down. 

Every cell in his body screamed at him to go there, to hurry back home, to hold Dean’s hand. But Sam also dreaded the sight. Watching Dean broken down, he wasn’t sure he was prepared for something like that. 

When Luke called him up on the second day, Sam had a hard time registering what he was talking about and the alpha insisted on coming over to see if he was alright. 

He wasn’t alright, of course he wasn’t. He felt stuck in this place while his… while Dean lay in hospital from being in a car accident. Jo had called him regularly with updates, and Dean was doing better. He’d just woken up and was his usual grumpy self, to which Sam was grateful. He still felt awful for not being there and Sam decided that he’d get someone to send his stuff once he’d settled in back home. 

Luke showed up at his door a moment later and he watched Sam in surprise. 

“What’s going on here?”

“I’m heading to my pack.”

“Did something happen?” Luke sounded concerned and Sam swallowed. Luke would know what to do. He was capable and resourceful. 

“It’s… One of our pack members got into a car accident, and he’s… well, he’s hurt.” Sam said as explanation. 

“I see. So you want to go right away?” Luke placed a comforting hand on Sam’s shoulder, looking him in the eye. Sam nodded with a deep sigh.

“I packed, because I didn’t want to come back after.”

Luke watched him for a long moment, it seemed like he was at a loss for what to say, but then he nodded as he took a deep breath. 

“Alright. Let me drive you. My car is big enough for most of this, I think.”

“You don’t have to do that. It’s a couple of hours drive.” Sam shook his head. 

“I’m not letting you drive in this state either, Samuel. Have you been sleeping at all?”

Sam had barely closed his eyes since this thing. He’d been too afraid, and all he could think about was the accident and how scared Dean had to be. Sam wished he could have been there sooner, but hadn’t had the chance to leave.

“That’s what I thought. If you don’t mind, I’ll just bring around my car, then you can start carrying these boxes downstairs.”

And Sam just had to admit that Luke was right. The alpha knew what he was doing and Sam felt relieved to have someone else make the decision for him. 

 

Luke was great. He placed Sam’s boxes in his truck and made sure it was all there. He then proceeded to stop and go out to buy Sam’s favorite Chinese food. After he’d eaten, Sam fell asleep for several hours. 

He felt terrible about that the moment he woke up and realized how long he’d been out. 

“You needed it, don’t worry.” Luke smiled. 

Their conversation went on carefully, but easy enough. Somewhere along the way things had started to feel more comfortable between them even if they barely spent any time together just the two of them. 

Sam relaxed into this newfound sense and the rest of the way they talked about everything and nothing. Because like Sam always thought, Luke was great with omegas, he knew exactly what he had to do to keep Sam’s mind occupied. 

To his credit he hadn’t asked about why this accident hit Sam so hard. Sam told him that Dean had woken up and was feeling better, but he couldn’t stop feeling anxious.

Luke drove him directly to the hospital once they arrived. It was early in the evening and Sam had talked to Jo and she would meet him there. Luke insisted on waiting outside until Sam was done and Sam didn’t have time to argue about it now so he hurried inside. 

Jo wrapped him in a hug before leading him down the hallway. 

“He’s doing fine, Sam. He hurt his leg pretty bad and there are bruises all over.”

Sam could barely blink and when Jo opened the door to his room he stepped in carefully. Dean glanced away from the tv and a smile played on his lips when he noticed Sam.

“Sammy, what are you doing here?” He spoke quietly. Sam took a deep breath, feeling the lump in his throat grow dangerously. He shook his head with a nervous laugh. 

“What do you think?” He replayed. 

Dean pursed his lips for a moment. 

“You shouldn’t have. I’m fine. Just bored. I wanna go home.”

“Tomorrow, right?” Sam inched closer. He made an effort not to stare too hard. Dean’s face was bruised and scraped. His nose was blue, and he had a nasty looking gash across his forehead. What little he could see of his neck and collar was also marked with bruises. It looked bad and Sam wanted desperately to kiss him better. 

“That’s what they said.”

Sam stopped next to the bed. 

“God, Dean, what happened?” Sam sank down into the chair and leaned in to take Dean’s hand. 

Dean glanced away but didn’t retract his hand. 

“It was an accident, Sam. Bad luck, the car drove straight into my side.”

Sam bit his lip trying, and failing, not to picture the whole thing. Dean’s hand came up to Sam’s head to pull him into a hug. 

“Don’t cry. I promise you, I’ll be fine.” Dean whispered into his hair. Sam nodded with a pitiful sniff as he forced some control over his stupid tears. 

“How did you get here? I didn’t think you were due another week.”

“I wasn’t but well… I couldn’t just sit there while you were in here.” Sam shrugged shyly. His face heated up but there was a tiny, pleased smile on Dean’s face. 

“Did you take the bus?”

“No. A… uh, a friend drove me.”

“Yeah? Where are they now, then?” Dean pulled back, looking defensive all of a sudden. Sam watched him carefully.

“He’s… outside.”

Dean got a hard glint in his eyes and Sam couldn’t even understand it when Dean sat up in his bed. 

“He’s an alpha, isn’t he?”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because I can scent it, you idiot. Do you really think I wouldn’t?”

“What?” Sam got up on his feet. 

“Whatever, Sammy. I… I’m an alpha too you know. And the second you walked in here I noticed something surrounding you. It doesn’t take a genius to know what’s going on.”

“Nothing’s going on, Dean! He came by as I was packing my stuff, and he offered to drive me here.”

“Yes, and since you’re spending time with him, his scent will be all over you. So… just, get out of here for a while, I don’t want to have that here.”

Sam stared at him with wide eyes. He was confused and angry. Dean never reacted that strongly before about who Sam spent time with. Now was not the time, so Sam would go and get a damn shower, and then he’d come back and demand answers.

 

He rushed out of there without even a good bye and even if he noticed Charlie in the cafeteria he didn’t stop. She caught up to him just as he got outside. She grabbed his arm and forced him to turn around, only to stare into a pair of angry glaring eyes. Sam didn’t know what he ever did to her. 

“Are you running away again? Don’t think I didn’t notice the guy who dropped you off here.” Charlie commented quietly. 

“I don’t have to take this from you, Charlie. It’s between Dean and me.”

“You think so? Then why can’t you stay and work it out for once?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Charlie let go of his arm and huffed with an angry hand gesture. 

“You know what it means. Every time you and Dean meet, you end up in some kind of fight, and every time you run away. I can’t let you do that this time.”

“I’m not running away.”

“Yes you are! I’ve watched you do the same thing over and over, ever since the time you went to your parents. Don’t try and deny it! Part of the reason was Dean!”

“You don’t know anything, Charlie! Dean told me to get out of there, and I’m not going to stay where I’m not wanted!”

Charlie paced back and forth on the front steps of the hospital. People walked past them, but barely gave them a moment’s glance.

“But you are, Sam. Surely you have to know that.”

“Charlie… I- I can’t! I don’t know how much he’s told you, but every single time I’ve reached out to Dean, he’s pushed me away.”

“Well, he’s scared.”

“What do you think I am?” Sam exploded. “I’m sick of trying and trying! I’m terrified that I’ll have to live with this… this hole inside the rest of my life because that grumpy, stubborn ass of an alpha won’t risk it! I bonded to him, Charlie, I fucking bonded and it doesn’t even matter!” Sam screamed at her. 

People turned to stare at them, but Charlie was only looking at him. Big, concerned eyes as she finally reached out and pulled him into a tight hug. 

“Sam… I’m so sorry… shh… it’s okay.”

“No it isn’t, and you know it.”

“Have you told him?”

“Of course not.”

Sam knew he couldn’t tell him. On the one side Dean might get angry or repulsed by it and ask him to really stay away from him. Or even worse, he might pity the poor omega and say that he wanted to take a chance after all. But Sam didn’t want to be with him if the bond was the reason Dean wanted to try. An alpha had to make a physical claim to form a bond, it didn’t happen by accident for them. Omegas usually were the same, but as a Born Omega, with heightened senses, Sam could form a scent bond to a suitable alpha if he felt drawn to him and spent enough time with him.

“You have to talk to him.”

“No, Charlie. I’m done. I know I can share a part of his life as long as we’re friends, and that’s what I’ll do.” Sam said softly. 

Charlie stared at him a long moment. Her small hands squeezed his shoulders. 

“Alright. I understand. Just… if you ever get the chance, promise me you won’t screw it up by being just as stubborn as this grumpy ass alpha in there. Deal?”

A smile played on Sam’s lips as he reached out to hug Charlie goodbye. 

 

Sam shouldn’t have let it slip to Charlie about the bond. She was a lot closer to Dean than she was to him, and what if she decided Dean needed to know? No, he had to just trust that she would respect his wish. 

It still nagged at the back of his mind and he was out of it when he got into the truck with Luke. It felt wrong all of a sudden to be there with the other alpha. Luke insisted that they got something to eat before he dropped Sam off at Ellen’s. Sam tried telling him that she made the best food and wouldn’t mind if he brought a friend, but Luke wasn’t having it. 

Luke tried talking a bit about his visit to the hospital and then about the fight he’d had with the girl, but Sam steered the conversation over on other things and ignored the annoyed glint in Luke’s eyes.

Sam did feel off so as soon as their food was gone he got up and told Luke he needed to get to a bed for some rest. The alpha didn’t come up with any complaints about that and drove him to Ellen’s home. 

He helped Sam unload the truck and gave him a hug. 

“See you soon, Sam. Maybe Michael and I could come visit once you’re settled in your new apartment.” Luke smiled. 

“Sure, yeah. I’ll keep in touch. And, Luke. Thank you again for driving me here. You didn’t have to.”

“Don’t worry about it, Sam. I was happy to.”

 

The next couple of days went by in a flurry of activity. Dean was discharged and even if he complained about it Mary fixed a dinner where she invited family and friends. Then Sam finally got the key to his new place and started the process of moving in permanently. 

Sam got a call from Michael one day and the other omega asked if he could visit. 

“Yeah, sure. I’m not settled in all the way, though.”

“Not a problem. You never really were while you lived in the city either.” Michael added. 

Sam wondered if that meant something. Why he couldn’t seem to settle in for real anywhere. 

Michael showed up just in time, actually. Because just a few hours later, Sam’s heat begun. 

“Did you know I was due my heat?” Sam breathed heavily. His neck was already sweaty and he couldn’t even believe his luck that Michael had shown up just in time. 

As much as Sam resented going through heats without an alpha, or the fact that it did feel like another rejection from Dean, things had been easier ever since he started this thing with Michael. 

They’d been helping each other through most heats and it might not be as fulfilling as an alpha with a knot, but it helped. So instead of focusing on what could have been or why Michael knew when to call, Sam gave into the heat and what he needed at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a little early and sadly it is also the last chapter that's ready to post. I am going through some personal challenges and writing is hard. I will try to finish the last chapter in time for next week. (there is two more, one is 98% done) I can't promise anything, but the synopsis is done for the last chapter so I'll only have to find the time to get it done. Please be patient, because I won't abandon this, only postpone it slightly until i'm back on my feet. And I hope you'll stick around until it's here.   
> Thank you all for supporting me this far, it really means a lot. Hope you liked this part too !


	14. Valuable

Dean got discharged from the hospital five days after the accident and he was happy to leave. The nurses said he had been a malice, but they all smiled teasingly at him. 

Family and friends wanted to pamper him. They made food, invited him to come rest at their place, it was like nobody knew what he was like. 

The only person who kept his distance was Sam, and Dean felt a little bad about that. He knew he’d stepped too far when he started throwing accusations at him about another alpha. Because for one, what made him think he even had the right to be mad about it when they didn’t have a bond themselves. And second, Sam had come all the way because he was worried, and all Dean did was scream at him until he left. 

Dean insisted on managing on his own, he didn’t need people to carry him around, and he wasn’t about to let them. He was at his parents’ home for dinner, then he went home and prepared for classes the upcoming week. Even the principal denied his request of coming back immediately. Truth be told, he probably needed the time at home to deal with this thing. 

The doctors had told him to take it easy, his leg wasn’t going to thank him for putting too much strain on it. He might even have to consider his life with a leg that never healed properly. Walking with a limp, they said. 

Careful training and rest was something he would have to get used to, especially on bad days. It was a terrifying image. Dean was not someone who would sit back and let others run around. He did his part in the pack. Always preparing for the gatherings and he was strong. Dean was determined to get back on his feet. 

 

Dean headed back to work as soon as he was allowed by the dean. He put in long hours, went to all of the classes and lectured them like he always had. Even with the tiredness seeping in he ignored it and kept on going. 

Usually when he got home at night his leg would hurt like a bitch. On those nights he either popped some painkillers and went to sleep or poured himself a couple of drinks before bed. Depending on how bad he felt. 

A few weeks after he got back into his routine, Sam came over to his place. If he’d called first, Dean would have told him not to come, but the omega showed up at his door and walked inside. He was like a fresh breeze and Dean wanted to hate him for it. Instead he told his alpha to calm the hell down. He couldn’t afford any more outbursts at the moment. 

Sam paced the floor and ignored Dean’s suggestion to sit down. When he finally decided to talk Dean had gotten tired and sunk into a chair of his own. 

“You know what? I am a little mad at you still, but I’m having a party next week, so I will reach out here and extend an invitation.” Sam pursed his lips, but his eyes never left Dean’s. 

“A party?”

“Yes. Jo’s been helping me put my new place together, and I want to celebrate.”

Dean noticed his nervous energy. Sam was excited about this. And he supposed he should be. At college he was never alone, and he’d been living with pack members ever since. Even when he was in the city for his job he hadn’t owned his own place. This was huge and Dean knew how he felt.

“Sounds great.”

“So you’re coming?”

Dean watched him for a long moment. Sam tried to look stern, to act mad, but his eyes gave him away. This really meant something to him. 

When Dean didn’t answer immediately Sam turned around with a huff. He walked around the island in his kitchen and started moving things around. It took a moment for Dean to realize that he was tidying. 

“Come on. Don’t do that.”

The omega ignored him and kept putting dishes in the washer with a bit too much force. Dean stared at his back, surprised at this display of feelings. They’d never been especially good at expressing themselves to each other. But then again, their senses always ran high around the other so it might not be a surprise Sam needed to get off some steam.

Sam held his back tight and he moved fast. His kitchen wasn’t all that messy, so it wasn’t long before Sam was out of work. 

“What’s going on?”

“Why don’t you want to come to my party?” Sam bit the inside of his cheek. 

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to. You’re not coming, are you?”

Dean let out a sigh and Sam huffed annoyed. 

“Whatever. I came here intending to put the mess from the hospital behind me, but you know what. The ball’s in your court!” Sam brushed past Dean, leaving in a whirlwind of a tantalizing scent. 

Dean knew he had hurt Sam by not being excited about his party. But sitting there watching the omega leave his place Dean was certain that’s how things would go. He didn’t even have the strength to run after Sam, if that’s what he wanted to. And god, did he want to. 

 

Day after day, week after week, Dean came home, realizing more and more, that his leg would never be better. He would hurt and he would walk slower and unsteadily. He was broken now, and no matter how bad it hurt his heart to admit it, Sam would never want a broken alpha. Before all of this, Dean had intended to take the leap. Now, he didn’t see how he could. 

Sam had his party and Dean knew he’d made a mistake not going when even Jo started ignoring him and giving him stink eye whenever she was around. 

He decided he would have to pick up the proverbial ball and head over to Sam’s place. Feeling like an idiot, he brought wine and a complimentary flower. 

When the omega opened the door Dean watched him closely. Sam stood tall, eyes never leaving his and the only thing giving him away was a slight redness in his cheeks. 

“Sam. May I come in?”

“Sure.” The omega stepped to the side and closed the door behind them. Dean was led down a hall and into an open space with living room and a kitchen. It wasn’t big, but it was comfortable and it was very inviting. It suited Sam a lot. 

Dean handed him the flowers and Sam took his time placing them in a tall glass. When he was done he simply put them on the counter top and leaned up beside it, watching Dean without a word. It was awkward and terrible, but Dean knew he had himself to thank for that. So he took a deep breath and said he was sorry. 

“I didn’t think I’d fit in.” And when did that become his biggest concern? Dean wasn’t easily spooked, but there he was. 

“Why not? I wasn’t going to invite people you don’t already know.” Sam said. 

“Yeah, well. I’m sorry. I know it’s stupid. And I want to make up for it.”

“How?” Sam challenged and Dean stared at him wide eyed for a moment. He had no idea what Sam was talking about. Sam didn’t give him any answer to it and Dean left him alone shortly after. 

A few days later Dean had decided he would ask Sam over for dinner. He wasn’t going to overthink it so he sent a text and just that same evening Sam knocked on his door. 

He looked happy and refreshed, and to Dean’s surprise things felt simple. Because they didn’t dwell on the things between them. Dean didn’t want to bring it up and apparently Sam didn’t either. So instead they spent the night by Dean’s kitchen table, eating pasta and chatting away. It was relaxing and just what Dean needed. 

 

Dean didn’t go out and about as much. When he went somewhere it was usually places he knew he would always be welcomed without question or pitying looks. At work he easily shut down anyone trying to start a conversation about his leg and his close family and friends rarely asked. 

It wasn’t the best strategy, Dean was aware of that, but he didn’t want to deal with it. 

Sam kept sticking around, thankfully. Even if the omega obviously was busy with his growing career they saw each other regularly. 

Sam called him up one morning, Dean hadn’t even made it to the shower. 

“What’s got you up this early?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Are you headed to work?”

“Got a late start so I have a few hours to kill.”

“Sweet, then would you come over for breakfast?”

Dean was a little taken aback by the suggestion, but once Sam started tempting him with pancakes, who was he to turn him down?

That breakfast was one of the most memorable in Dean’s life. Sam’s kitchen was cozy and small. It was hot in there after he’d made breakfast and a comfortable light cast a sheen over them at the table. Sam’s eyes looking puffy from sleep, but he was energized and relaxed.

Most of all it was the feeling of belonging that had Dean sitting back and enjoying this meal more than he had in a long time. It felt dangerously domestic, almost like they woke up together and now shared breakfast before work. 

Dean wasn’t going to think about that too much, but it was a pleasant feeling. 

As the weeks progressed Sam found ways to spend time with him regularly though the week. Dean wasn’t going to say anything as they watched movies, had take - away or just sat there doing some work on their computers. He enjoyed it far too much and sometimes he thought perhaps he should work on his courage to tell Sam what he felt. But he couldn’t. Not now at least. Because from time to time someone would tell Dean about friends of Sam’s that visited. This Michael being there regularly and on rare times Dean could get a hint of the alpha scent that lingered forever in his hospital room when Sam visited. 

It bothered Dean, so much, but then again, he didn’t have any right to comment on it or do anything about it. Sam still came around, they felt comfortable around each other, but it wasn’t much more than that. 

Until suddenly Dean started to read small signs. 

For each time they sat on the couch watching a movie, Sam would come closer, until they were touching. 

Then every meal became longer and more intimate. 

And then the text messages became more teasing. 

It was wearing him down. Dean was charmed and lured in easy as that. He enjoyed the feeling of Sam warm and cozy against his side, and the lingering looks while they sat by a table. Not to mention the texts. He really enjoyed those as they were fun and a little bit arousing. And to be honest, there was no need to try and lure him in. Dean had been caught for quite some time now.

***

Dean had had the longest week and he’d barely seen Sam at all. When the omega called to see if he wanted to share a pizza Dean was ready to head over there immediately. 

Neither talked about it, but it was a thing now, and the time they spent together felt more and more like it built up to something. 

Dean sat back on the couch while Sam got everything ready. When the pizza arrived he placed it on the table and sank down next to Dean, with their thighs touching. 

A movie played on the tv while they ate and Sam couldn’t seem to sit still. 

Dean turn to stare at him, and Sam’s face looked a little red and his eyes almost unfocused. 

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Sam shrugged and hurriedly back to his food. But Dean kept watching him. He moved around, constantly touching Dean in some way and he looked a little sweaty too. 

“Sam.” Dean talked in a soothing voice, almost like he was afraid to spook him. Only he had no idea why he was so skittish all of a sudden. 

Sam quieted at that. His body seemed to relax and he pulled one leg onto the couch to face Dean better. The omega looked expectant and Dean felt his alpha sit up in interest. 

They stared at each other for a long moment. Dean took in Sam’s flushed face, his hopeful eyes and his hands wringing in his lap. Almost without conscious thought, Dean reached out a hand and placed it on Sam’s knee. Then he leaned forward, almost all the way. Breathing coming faster, and he could feel Sam’s breath going too. 

At first their lips touched softly, and Dean watched as Sam slowly closed his eyes to sink into the kiss. When Dean moved his lips, Sam let out a quiet gasp and from there things escalated so quickly Dean suddenly had a lapful of Sam with his hands underneath his shirt. 

The little sounds the omega made spurred him on and Dean felt like the other times he’d touched Sam like this. He couldn’t get enough. And he never wanted to let go. 

Sam’s shirt fell on the floor, and the same went for Dean’s. It was driving him crazy with want and need, to feel that skin on skin. Dean felt the alpha breaking through, but it was a thrilling line to walk. To know where this was headed, but also taking the time to savior it. 

When Sam leaned back, exposing all that untouched neck, Dean almost broke. A possessive growl escaped his throat and Sam answered with a roll of his hips. 

Dean felt like he was drowning in it. The scent, the feeling and the excitement of it all. It took a moment before he realized Sam was pulling back. He settled on the edge of Dean’s knees, and he was still touching. 

“Dean… I… I can’t do this.”

“What’s wrong?” The rejection stung, but Dean also recognized something in Sam. Something he’d never seen before. Something like fear, and it stopped Dean in his tracks.

Sam huffed and covered his face with his hands for a moment. When he glanced back up he swallowed hard a few times. 

“I want… you know I want to. But I can’t do it like this.”

“Like how?” Dean forced his body to come back down. 

“Like… Like a casual thing. Not with you. It would break me.”

He stared at Sam for a long time, carefully stroking his arms.

“How?”

“It’s just so much… and… I can’t do this because it would hurt more.”

“What would hurt, Sam? I would never hurt you.”

Sam shook his head violently. 

“I know that. But I’m… I’m not explaining this very well. It’s too much for me right now.”

“Then tell me what you think this is? Because to me it feels like a long time coming!” Dean’s head was running hot and he also got all kinds of confused by the signals coming from this omega. 

“I know what it is, and what it looks like! But I’m… I’m realizing I’m not ready for it.”

“For this? Or for me?”

Sam shook his head and got up from the couch. Dean started pulling his shirt back on. He needed to put some distance between them. He felt wounded, and so confused he wanted to scream. Dean never wanted to push an omega or anyone into something they didn’t feel up to. But on the other hand, this had been a lot Sam too. He had been riling Dean up for weeks, and he’d taken the bait, and he’d taken it good. 

“Where are you going?”

“We need to get our heads straight before we continue anything else.”

Sam looked like he wanted to cry, but he didn’t protest when he followed Dean to the front door and whispered a subdued good bye. 

 

Dean was a mess. He wanted to blame it on Sam, then he wanted to blame his damn leg. But he was afraid it might be something he hadn’t caught up on. Something he had missed entirely.

He felt itchy and angry as he drove back home and it didn’t help one bit when his father was at his door looking stressed out. 

“What are you doing here?” Dean growled.

“What’s got your pants in a twist?”

Dean rolled his eyes and wanted to tell him that he should have known. John walked inside before he started talking. 

“You’ve come from Sam now?”

“Yeah. What about it?” There was no use trying to deny a scent that obvious to another alpha. 

“Just that Bobby’s got wind of some news.”

“Like what?”

“This is serious, Dean! We’ve got a Collector sniffing around. We have no way of identifying him, but we have also got a Born Omega to care for!”

“A collector?” Dean felt all blood drain from his face. 

Those were the alphas who would do anything to build his pack on omegas only. The alphas who would seek out the valuable omegas. The alphas who collected omegas as a prize, as something to own and to control. Finding the vulnerable ones, and the ones who would gain reputation to his pack. 

And Dean had just left Sam more vulnerable than ever. The most valuable of them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go. Let me know what you think :) 
> 
> \- xx


	15. The collector

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the next chapter is up!

Sam paced the room sweaty and shaky. He knew what had gotten into him, but it didn’t mean he had to understand it. His heat was getting dangerously close and he wanted Dean so much. With all the time they spent together he knew the bond was just clinging on even more. He wanted it to happen and felt like an idiot for backing out. 

They could have been together. Casual sex happened all the time, but to Sam nothing was casual when it concerned Dean. It was personal, it was real and he needed to do something about it. 

If Sam only told him. He wished he had, but when the chance appeared, he froze. What if Dean would think lesser of him, or feel betrayed by Sam? One thing was clear, and that was that Sam couldn’t go on like this anymore. He needed to do something about it.

While he made his way to the bathroom his phone chimed. He almost ignored it. He needed a bath and he didn’t want to talk or see anyone.

It was Michael. Of course it was. By now Sam had given up on asking how he knew how to call him just as his heat started. It didn’t mean he wanted to talk to the other omega at the moment. 

“Sam! How are you?”

“I’m fine. Just a bit busy. How about you?”

“Oh nothing much. Wanted to check in, see if you wanted to meet up?”

Sam sighed inwardly. He’d reached the bathroom and met a tired face in the mirror. 

“I’m kind of in the middle of something.”

“Really? Tomorrow too?”

“Yeah sorry.”

“What’s going on, man? I thought we always got each other’s backs during heats.” Michael sounded different. Almost too rough and desperate.

“It was convenient for a while. And when was the last time you called for any of your heats?”

Michael didn’t have an answer to that. 

“Whatever man. I’m in the area if you change your mind sometime during the night. Talk to you in the morning.” He hung up and Sam was left staring at the phone wondering what his problem was. 

Instead of spending too much time on that he filled his bath and lowered himself into the steaming water. He needed this, to relax his muscles and his mind. Sam wondered if Dean would come back if he called him up. This was yet another heat, and they were so close. Just because Sam panicked at the wrong moment Dean up and left!

Sam knew by now that if he wanted to break the bond he had formed, he had to really want to. But that’s the thing about a bond, you wouldn’t want to break it. The bond had become a constant in Sam’s life. It was there, assuring him day in and day out that, yes, he still wanted and he still needed his alpha. After this time Sam felt a little worn down from it too. The bond was one sided, there was no denying that. Dean wasn’t his alpha, not really. So why on earth had he blown his chance at possibly doing something about that? He’d stopped when he was about to get what he so, so wanted. Because of what? Because he couldn’t do that without letting Dean know about the bond, that’s why. 

After his bath Sam pulled on a t-shirt and a pair of boxers. He’d been in there for a while and was getting hungry. And sleepy. As he padded toward the kitchen he became aware of a frantic knocking on his door. For a moment he froze, wondering if Michael had decided to show up after all. Well, he wouldn’t get to come inside this time, so that was it. 

Opening the door, Sam stared at Dean instead. The man looked stressed out, breathing fast. 

“Sam? Are you alright?”

“Yes, what’s wrong?”

Dean sagged against the doorframe. 

“I’ve been calling and calling and you didn’t answer. I thought something happened to you.”

Sam didn’t understand why he looked so freaked out. Like Dean wanted to reach out and touch, to make sure Sam was really there. 

“My phone’s on mute. Why were you calling?” Sam folded his arms awkwardly across his chest, feeling a little exposed in just his boxers and t-shirt. Dean didn’t seem to notice. The alpha rubbed a hand across his face. 

“I needed to talk to you. Can we do it inside?”

Sam pressed his lips tightly together, uncertain if that was a smart move, but he stepped to the side anyway. 

“I talked to my dad and he said we have to be careful around here.”

Dean proceeded to tell him about something they called a Collector. Sam had never heard about it before and it sounded ridiculous. That someone would collect and build his pack of omegas, to control them and keep them to himself. Sam couldn’t imagine anything like that. He would have wasted away being one of many omegas to one alpha. 

“So you’re certain no one has come up to you or tried to uh… persuade you into something?”

Sam shook his head. He didn’t know anyone who could want him for his status alone. 

“Of course not. I don’t know anyone like that. Besides, I would never agree to it!”

“Well, from what I’ve heard, it’s not always they ask so nicely. They make friends and during a heat, they strike, when it’s harder to stand up against it.”

Sam bit his lip trying to picture it. All he could see was Dean, and how much he wanted him to make that kind of move instead. 

“I wouldn’t.”

“You don’t know that, Sam. These alphas are really good at what they do!” Dean raised his voice.

“You don’t understand! I’m already bonded.” Sam yelled, and once he realized he smacked his mouth closed in surprise.

Dean sat back as if Sam had slapped him across his face. His eyes were wide and he swallowed hard a couple of times before he managed to speak. 

“That’s why you stopped?”

“No Dean. It’s… I mean… Born omegas can form a scent bond to an alpha if the circumstances allow it.” Sam let out a long breath. He stared at Dean who stared back with questions and hurt written all over his face. 

“Then… Why, um. Why aren’t you mated?” Dean asked quietly.

“What? No. It’s… it’s a scent bond. It means that I bonded, but it doesn’t go both ways.”

“So you… It… I’m not sure I follow. You bonded to someone and they didn’t want it, is that what you’re saying?”

“NO, it means he doesn’t know.”

Dean watched him quietly. It was uncomfortable and Sam shifted in his seat. 

“How can he not know?”

“It’s a scent bond. I’m the only one who can feel it.” Sam told him. 

“But why haven’t you told him?”

Sam swallowed. Hard. 

“Because I didn’t want you to feel pressured into something with me, just because I bonded.”

Sam tightened his arms protectively around himself. Dean opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again several times. 

“How long?” He whispered. 

“Sometime after our first kiss.” Sam couldn’t look at him.

“And you didn’t tell me? Why the hell not?” Dean raised his voice slightly and Sam tried desperately to blink away his tears. 

“Because… you… you pushed me away! I couldn’t bring myself to tell you – when… when you kept telling me we didn’t fit, or shouldn’t be together.” A tear fell down and he sniffed hard to gain some semblance of control. 

“Sammy.” Dean hummed and looked so sincere and sorry, Sam almost wanted to laugh. 

“It’s a mess I know.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“I wanted to. But I wanted to do it right.” 

Dean stepped closer, like he wanted to pull Sam into a hug. He wanted those arms around him, to wrap him up into a nice hug and never let go. 

That’s when his phone chimed again and Dean let out an actual growl when Sam picked it up. It sent tingles down his spine. 

“Michael, what do you want?” Sam sighed. 

“I mean, I thought you’d call me back? I’m just around the corner, don’t you want some support or anything?”

“What if I told you I’ve got it covered? I told you it was convenient for a while.”

There was a long pause. 

“Luke even got here this time.” Michael said quietly.

Luke. 

The alpha. 

THE alpha! 

The Collector. 

Back when they first met, that’s one of the first things Meg told him about the alpha. Sam just hadn’t been thinking about it much ever since. Luke seemed like such a friendly and good guy. A little intense and almost too much at times, but still. Sam had grown to like him, he was a decent guy, who even drove him all the way – oh… and now he knew where he lived too. It was a little creepy to be honest. And Dean was right of course. Luke was good at what he did. Sam had known about his type of pack, and he still managed to forget, because Luke acted so normal and nice toward him. If he hadn’t already bonded, he could easily picture himself giving in to Luke’s charm.  
Sam turned to look at Dean with wide eyes. 

“He’s here.” He covered the phone and spoke to Dean in a hushed tone.

“Who’s here?”

“The alpha. The collector.” 

Dean was up on his feet in a second and Sam watched as he swayed a little from the fast movement, but he reached into a pocket for his phone and Sam went back to his call. 

It wasn’t actually illegal to have a pack only with omegas. It was unorthodox and frowned upon by most, but it wasn’t against the law. 

What was against the law, was trespassing on another alpha’s territory, especially if someone was trying to take an omega from that alpha’s pack. 

“I don’t know what to tell you, Michael. I… didn’t realize it was so important to you.”

“You damn well could have.”

“Sorry.”

“You sure you don’t want to meet up, just one last time? I mean, we could even head down the street for some food?”

Sam felt sorry for Michael. But he also didn’t know if any of it was real. The other omega had acted even more like it was no serious thing what they did. Now all of a sudden he seemed all kinds of distressed. 

They were about to hang up when Michael cleared his voice and mumbled. 

“Luke is gonna come on your door anyway. Hope you’re ready.” The omega talked fast and quiet, then he hung up before Sam had a chance to say anything at all. 

Sam swallowed hard and hurried into the kitchen to look for Dean. A firm knock sounded on his door and Sam all of a sudden, felt scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you're still here for this next chapter. I have been down, both physically and mentally the last month, but things are looking up in that department. But just as I started to feel better a close relative of my husband got severely ill and is currently in the hospital without knowing if he'll survive. So you could say there's still so much going on and life is so unpredictable and fragile. 
> 
> Because of the situation I can't promise anything for the next chapter either. I do feel a little bit guilty, but on the other hand you gotta know when it's time to take care of your family and yourself. And let the rest come when we're ready. 
> 
> So that's my sob story and I just hope you guys are feeling good and enjoying the summer <3


	16. Doing it right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I want to thank all of you for kind words both about this fic, and also for encouraging me during a difficult time. Things aren't perfect still, but definitely better. And slowly I've gotten back into writing. It's a chance to get out of my head for a while and just... dream up new stuff. 
> 
> I really hope you like this part, as I've decided it will be the end of this fic. Let me know in comments below or with a rain of kudos<3 
> 
> Thank you all for following on the boys journey, for leaving comments, some just to let me know you liked it, some funny, and some of them sparked ideas in my mind. I really appreciate all of you and all I can really say is THANK YOU <3

Dean turned around to see Sam standing in the doorway with his eyes wide. He fiddled with the end of his shirt and shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other.

“It’s him. He’s at the door.” Sam whispered.

It was only due to Dean’s willpower and that he was scared what might happen, that he managed to ignore the fact that the omega was practically in heat. Sam didn’t show any signs of sweating or heavy breathing, but his scent almost made it impossible for Dean to be there. 

The omega was scared, and that’s what was important right now. Dean had to figure out a way to get out of this without too much complication. 

“Do you want me to open the door?”

“I’m… I can’t! I’m not dressed and I’m… in heat.” Sam swallowed hard and his cheeks turned pink.

“Okay. Hey, Sam, it’ll be okay. I’m not gonna let him get near you. And besides, he’s here without permission, so Bobby and my dad will come by to get him out of our land.”

It seemed to calm him a little, but when there was another loud knock on the door Sam jumped and stared frantically at Dean. 

Dean took a deep breath to steady himself. He had no idea what kind of alpha was on the other side. Dean was at a disadvantage, because if this turned physical he didn’t have the strength he used to anymore. What he had to his advantage, was the knowledge that the omega had already formed a bond to him.

 

A tall, blonde and arrogant looking alpha looked him straight in his eyes the moment Dean opened the door. He seemed so sure of himself, like this was a done deal and that Dean was a minor distraction. 

“May I help you?”

“I’m here for Sam.” 

“He’s not taking visitors at the moment.” Dean said. 

The alpha looked unimpressed and huffed a laugh.

“He’s not taking visitors?”

Dean didn’t comment and stared back. Dean had never met a Collector before. He had always thought they would be creepy and pathetic. This alpha was anything but. He was slimy and arrogant. Tall and handsome, it was disturbing. 

“Listen, pup. I’ve already connected with Sam. I can smell he’s in heat, and he need me to get through it.”

Dean narrowed his eyes, feeling anger and a tinge of fear run through him. 

“He’s fine without you.” Dean said. The feeling of being referred to as a pup made all of his hackles rise. 

“I’m not here to fight you. This is between the omega and me. I’ve already told you that he need me, and if you don’t step away I am going to have to do something about it.” He sounded so cool about it. Like he didn’t think it would be a problem there. 

And Dean realized it was part of his game. To sound unaffected and confident, to intimidate other alphas. Well, he had something else coming. There was no way Dean would let this alpha come near Sam in this situation. 

Dean didn’t turn around, but he knew Sam was there, partially hidden around the corner, and his heat was definitely coming on, full force. 

“Listen, you might be a friend or whatever, but Sam is an unmated omega.” Luke said.

“Yes, and he is vulnerable at the moment!”

Luke pulled back a moment, to stare at Dean. 

“Sam is very much capable of taking care of himself. He’s been running around with an omega of mine for months.”

Dean gritted his teeth, just the thought of that made him feel cold inside, but he couldn’t let it show. 

“So I’m telling you this for the last time. Either you let me in to talk to Sam, or I have to fight you.”

“You’re forgetting one thing.”

“Oh I am? Do tell.” Luke practically rolled his eyes. 

“The omegas consent.” 

For a moment Luke wavered. But then he huffed and burst past Dean with his shoulders forcefully shoving the other alpha off balance. 

“He’ll consent.” He grumbled and strode down the hall. 

Sam stood frozen by the doorway, staring at Luke with his eyes wide and nostrils flaring. Dean couldn’t read whether he was too scared or actually liked the display of alpha, or maybe both. 

He knew one thing for sure, and that was that this Collector wouldn’t get his hands on Sam. Not his Sam. Sam didn’t want this, he was scared of the Collector. And Dean was not about to let his chance with Sam get away from him. 

Just as Luke stopped in front of Sam Dean reached them and he snapped at Sam to get to the kitchen. Luke growled at Dean, but he stood his ground. Sam pulled back a few steps and Luke faced Dean. 

“I already pointed out how Sam isn’t claimed or mated to anyone. You don’t have any more right to be here than I do.”

“He’s part of my pack.” Dean said. 

“You are not Head Alpha here.” Luke shook his head dismissively. 

“And I warned you to stay out of this.” Luke continued and came even closer. 

The other alpha was taller than him. Dean knew he had to be strong and he also felt very aware of his disadvantage. 

“So I’m asking you for the last time. Get out of here.” His voice didn’t shake, and he spoke quietly. His eyes shone a bright red in challenge and somehow Dean felt the urge to submit to that. To admit he felt inferior to this alpha. 

It didn’t sit well with him to be challenged, though. A voice in the back of his mind whispered about how Dean would never allow anyone to treat him like this. So even with his heart running faster with every beat he stepped between Luke and Sam. 

Luke wasted no time trying to push past Dean, but this time he was ready and held onto him. Luke wrestled in his grasp and suddenly they were full on fighting. Punches were thrown and Luke yelled at him for thinking he had any right to stop him. 

When Luke kicked Dean’s good leg, the bad one also gave in and he lost his balance and crashed to the floor. Luke was on him in an instant. Trying to get in harmful hits all over and for a moment Dean curled into a ball. Gasping and hurting.

Then he heard Sam nearby and he knew that the omega would try and get involved in this. He would try fighting Luke, and that couldn’t happen. Not now, when he was in heat and Luke would be very efficient in taking advantage of Sam’s involvement. He knew Sam was strong and could fend for himself if he needed to, but it wasn’t the same when the heat set in. 

It gave Dean the strength he needed, and Luke was also distracted by having the omega so close all of a sudden. Dean got free of his hands and put all of his weight into hit fist as he came down on the side of Luke’s face. The alpha grunted in pain and once he lost his footing Dean pushed him back and got on top of him. He immediately tried to pin his hands and feet and eventually he got the upper hand. 

Both were breathing hard and Dean felt sweat run down his back. When Luke tried to wiggle his way out, Dean bared his teeth and leaned closer. His incisors hovered dangerously close to the other alphas neck. Luke lay absolutely still. For an alpha to bite another alpha during a fight, made it clear who was the winning party. It was also the ultimate humiliation and would be a constant reminder that Luke was beaten, that he lost.

“Now what are you gonna do?” The collector spat. 

Dean didn’t let up his grip, but he pulled back to look at him. 

“Now, you’re going to get out of here. Away from this pack land, and never return.”

The alpha stared at the ceiling, breathing hard. He didn’t fight anymore. 

“And what if I don’t?”

Dean sighed and was about to move closer, threaten him with his teeth again when the door opened and both Bobby and John stepped inside. 

“Now might be the time to do just what I asked.” Dean whispered when he got up from Luke. 

John grabbed the Collector and pushed him toward the door.

“Good job, son.” Bobby said gruffly and moved toward the door.

“Dean, you have to take care of the poor omega.” Bobby gave a firm nod and a shake of his head before he left with a loud bang. Dean jumped and stared at the closed door for several minutes. 

 

The room was quiet. Too quiet. Slowly Dean made his way to the kitchen and stopped short in the doorway. 

Dean had been with omegas in heat before. While he was with Lisa she just always held herself so well. Like it was just a bit of higher drive for a couple of days. 

It wasn’t like omegas turned into some uncontrollable mess during their heats, but some reaction to an alpha was to be expected. 

Sam sat in one of the kitchen chairs, with his legs pulled close to his chest, hair clinging to his sweaty forehead and he was panting slightly. 

Dean almost went dizzy with the sight and the scent that filled the entire room. He couldn’t move. The alpha part of him refused to move if it weren’t toward the omega. Another part was afraid this might be too much too fast.

“So? Are you going to take care of the poor omega?” Sam rasped. Even his voice sounded different. Low and hoarse. 

“Wh- uh. What?” Dean cleared his voice, unable to take his eyes away from Sam. 

“Well, I’m kind of… I could use the extra ‘care’.” He smiled weakly. 

“What about? I mean, you’re in heat.”

“Exactly.” Sam let his long legs down. 

When Sam stood up Dean swallowed hard. 

“I mean, shouldn’t we do this… right?”

Sam sagged. “You don’t really want to, do you?” He looked so sad.

“No, no, of course I do. God, I want to. I just don’t want to… take advantage since you’re in heat and everything.”

Sam took a few steadying breaths. 

“When has doing things right, ever worked for us, huh? I’m in heat, and the alpha I want is having a damn fight in my living room. I’m about to burst here, I need you to do something about it. Just… fuck me already, and we’ll talk later.” Sam breathed heavier and he moved closer to Dean. Grabbing his shirt as he pressed up close. 

Sam was hard, and he smelled so nice. It was intoxicating on any day, but this was on a new level. Sam was right of course. By acting so righteous all the time, Dean had pushed Sam away instead of closer. 

Dean glanced down at him, carefully placing his hands on top of Sam’s fists. His shirt was already rumpled, but Sam barely let go. 

“Alright.” Dean whispered. 

The second the word was out of his mouth Sam wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and pushed closer. He rubbed his front against Dean and let out desperate sounds of pleasure. 

“Bedroom?” Dean asked. 

Sam hummed, his lips making a trail of sloppy kisses along Dean’s neck. The omega was useless, but Dean moved them toward his bedroom. 

The moment Sam touched the bed, he got on all four and presented himself to Dean. No restraint. The backs of his boxers were damp and Dean’s hands shook as he reached out to pull them off. 

He almost burst at the sight in front of him. Sam was shaking in anticipation, his hole was puffy and leaking and Dean was about to pop his knot just from watching and scenting the omega in front of him.

“Dean… please, I… I need.” 

“I know. Shh, I got you.” 

Sam struggled out of his shirt as Dean placed his hands on his back. He made his way down, and carefully let one thumb rub over Sam’s glistening opening. Sam let out a long breath and Dean could barely control his flaming need, need, need. 

“Yes, yes, yes.” Sam chanted. Dean put pressure on his thumb and let out a growl when it gave room to let him in. It was warm and soft and Dean wanted so badly to taste. 

“More.” Sam panted and Dean’s hand almost shook when he slowly pulled his thumb out to work in two fingers. It was an easy glide, a sure sign the omega was in heat and ready for his knot. The thought sent a shiver down his spine and he followed with a third finger. Sam arched his back beautifully, letting out a slow pleading whine. 

“I’m good, Dean. Just… I need your knot, please.” Sam almost sobbed. 

Dean hurriedly pulled his jeans off and lined up behind Sam. His cock was deep red and straining and he could already feel the tingling at the base, where his knot would expand. 

Sam pushed his knees further apart and Dean lined his cock up to his hole. A whimper escaped from Sam and Dean barely held his own. His entrance was soft and ready and he gave a careful push just to feel the head being surrounded by that tight heat. 

“Yes, give it to me.” Sam rasped. 

Dean moved forward, and once he was halfway Sam let out a long whine, and breathed harder and harder. Dean didn’t stand a chance as his hips snapped forward, then pulled back out and slammed in again. Hard. 

Sam screamed. His fists clamped the sheets and he tightened impossibly around Dean’s cock as he came. Dean could barely move, but Sam kept yelling at him to keep going to take him harder. His hips worked in a punishing rhythm, working Sam through his orgasm and the omega slowly came back down. 

Dean pulled out and Sam shook his head violently. 

“No, no, don’t go… why? What are you doing?” He sounded wrecked and perfect. Dean looked down at his red opening and let out a breath. 

“Turn around for me. Can you do that?” Dean was impressed with himself, and how much in control he was at the moment. He knew he needed to see his omega when he knotted him for the first time. It didn’t matter that his knee felt tired, or that it was slightly uncomfortable. He just knew he needed to know what Sam’s face looked like the first time he felt Dean’s knot. 

Sam had hair sticking to his forehead, his eyes a little dazed and there was a little smile on his face. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. And it was all his. 

The omega was a little slow in his movements, like turning around was a great effort. Dean helped him into position before lining up again.

“Oh.” Sam whispered and his arms came up, eager to touch. One hand played with Dean’s hair, the other clung to his lower back, as if trying to pull him inside. 

“Yeah.” Dean nuzzled his neck and picked the rhythm back up. 

“I want your knot so bad.” Sam muttered and moved his hips up to meet Dean’s thrusts. 

Dean felt it building at the base of his cock, getting closer and closer as he worked Sam faster and harder. The omega seemed to thrive from it too as his head fell back, his neck entirely exposed for the alpha. All he wanted to do was sink his teeth into that pure skin, leave a permanent mark, leaving out any doubt that Sam was and would forever be his. 

Little grunts escaped Dean for each snap of his hips. He growled “mine” repeatedly, sucking hard on Sam’s neck. When his teeth graced the skin, without breaking it Dean pushed into his omega again and again until his knot expanded all the way, locking them together as Dean emptied himself inside. 

Sam gasped in bliss, his eyes glimmering golden and Dean could feel his inner walls clamp down around him. Sam grabbed Dean’s hand and moved it down between them, urging him to finish him off as well. Dean wrapped his fingers around his cock and while making careful aborted moves inside Sam, pulling teasingly at his rim each time, he stroked him in time until he came. 

He was beautiful, his omega. Hair lying sweaty on his face and the pillow. His chest moving fast as he breathed through it all. A tentative hand came down to feel where they were locked and Dean felt himself twitch with another spurt of come. 

Sam smiled knowingly and Dean kissed him. 

 

“You didn’t bite me.” Sam said quietly. 

They were in the shower. Sam’s heat had slowed down to a more manageable itch. Enough to give them time to clean up a little and make decent food. Dean felt like they lived inside a bubble, a bubble he really didn’t want to leave. 

“I didn’t.” Dean nuzzled his neck, licking the marks he’d sucked onto his skin. Where a bite would go. Sam let out a sigh, leaning into the touch. Both felt tired and a little worn down. 

“I wanted to.”

“But you didn’t bite me.” Sam repeated. 

Dean placed his hands on Sam’s shoulders to turn him around to face him. 

“I know that you said that doing the right thing hadn’t worked for us. But, I want a mating bite to happen outside of any heat or rut. I want us to do that one thing right, because it matters. It matters a lot more than anything else we could do together.”

Sam blinked hard a few times, he bit his lip as he lowered his head with a smile. 

“I’d like that too.” He whispered, voice thick with emotion. Dean pulled him tight and silently vowed to never let go. Because the right thing could be anything. Just the right thing might actually turn out to be something other than doing what was the right thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my mind:   
> \- Luke is thrown out of there with a very clear reminder of what a pack leader should be like. Someone to protect each member, who doesn't stand down from a fight, and doesn't leave any part of his pack or land to fend for themselves.   
> \- Sam and Dean mate as soon as the heat is over. They enjoy a very happy honeymoon fase and when things settle down, they have to work through their issues, like anyone else. Dean is still insecure and bitter about his leg sometimes. Sam try to juggle his career, which demands a lot from him. But they are happy, together, trying not to force the right thing.


End file.
